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echantedtoon · 1 year ago

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Demon Bride Ch4 Freedom's Grasp

(I know the chapters have been kinda short thus far but only because the work up to the much larger chapters is being done. The next few chapters should be longer.)

You were incredibly lucky you were able to convince Yuki's father to at last buy the property from you. Of course he was a little stand offish at your sudden willingness, no desperation, to sell it off to him after giving up on asking a few years ago. But you managed to convince him otherwise with some reasoning on your end-

"I won't be needing my home anymore once I marry and be forced to share a home with my husband," you lied through your teeth with a smile. In actuality you didn't need your home anymore as you'd be running far away from here, but he didn't need to know that. "I'll be too busy tending to my new husband to really care for any of the land itself. It would be better to just sell it to someone else who wouldn't let it go to waste." You hated even implying that you'd theoretically marry Sanemi (or Genya-) but you pulled off a poker face enough to convince the man of the deal. "All I ask is that you allow me to live there until this upcoming Saturday."

This made the man raise a brow at the request you made of him however. "Until this Saturday. Why until then when you won't be married until next year at the most?"

"I've made new living arrangements accordingly to the wishes of my future husband's family, and I'll be mostly busy planning for my marriage. I won't have anytime for my home anymore even if I do live there until marriage. I know you'll be able to take good care of it."

It was a hassle to not haggle the man in your excitement to just give you the coins NOW, right this second, but you didn't have to. Yuki's father, after a long moment of thought and a few encouraging words from his wife, agreed to your small deal just seemingly pleased to be getting what they asked for and made you wait for a few minutes as he fetched the payment. To anyone else it was just a few minutes out of their ordinary day, but to you it was one of the most agonizing waits in your life. Feeling an empty pit in your stomach with each passing second you stood there anxiously trying not to draw anyone else's suspicion to your behavior. You made it this far, so you couldn't screw things up now. It was heaven to your ears hearing the man's footsteps return, but even more heaven for your eyes when he held out a small leather bag to you containing the ten coins you both agreed upon. The moment the small bag met the warmth of your hands, you nearly lost your composure to cry in happiness right then and there, but tightened your jaw to instead strain a smile and give a polite thanks despite the lies you had told them in order to avoid suspicion from either of them.

...

You hated lying. You really did.

Even if it was for (to you at least-) a very good reason. In the end it would be the best for everyone. Sanemi and Genya didn't deserve to have this forced upon them for something that your dead parents left behind. Kanae didn't deserve to have that happiness taken away from her. And you ABSOLUTELY did NOT deserve to marry someone who you hated and hated you in return. You weren't going to be stuck with a fate your peers cut out for you, which was why you had started to plan.

A plan to ensure your safety and freedom away from here.

The very next night you had stayed up to plan out your departure from this village life. The first few steps were already in motion. You had successfully convinced Mitsuri that Kanae was actually the one who was actually going to be wed because you were going to pay off Sanemi, she was even more convinced of so when you took a risk and showed her the large amount of money you'd saved up. She was already in the process of preparing for the wedding that wouldn't be yours which included notifying the Kocho family a few villages over. Perfect. So they were expecting Kanae's marriage too, and if they all expected it then the Elders would have no choice but to chose Kanae to take your place once you leave. In the mean time you'll just have to pretend that it's you who's getting prepared for 'your wedding' to avoid anyone suspecting. Kanae and her sisters would be staying for another week to settle a few family business dealings, but most likely it was so Kanae could spend some last time with Sanemi. Which means they'll still be here when you leave, good. That means she'll still be here to take your place instead. You did feel bad about lying, and springing this suddenly upon everyone, but you weren't about to go though with it. You'll accept whatever dishonor this causes you, but for now you must prepare.

Saturday was just two days away now. In just two days you had to figure out how you were going to escape from here, and how you'd do it without arousing suspicion from anyone, and then you remembered why you had chosen Saturday in the first place. Saturday would be your first 'practice run' for the actual ceremony. In short, a volunteer would be taking you a little ways up the mountain to the meeting point where you would wait for someone to fetch you and then bring you back down to the village like the actual tradition played through. Of course it wasn't the actual ceremony, but it was to give you an idea of what would actually happen. And that would ultimately be your ticket out of here. You could escape while climbing the mountain when you were left alone during the practice run! It was the best way to avoid suspicion while still getting away from this place. This could work nicely to your advantage. There was just one last problem that lied in your way, and that would be Sanemi. If you gave him the money before you left then he'd surely tell the Elders the debt's been paid, and then the Elders would look for a different man to be your husband based on you, which means that they would look further into you and that could mean they could also potentially find out about your escape plans and stop them from happening. Which you couldn't risk if you ever hoped to get out of this mess. That meant the only way you could avoid that was to give the money to the brothers right before you left so there wasn't enough time for anyone else to 'pick you a new husband' or anyone else to stop you. It'd be a tight squeeze but it'd be worth it all in the end. You just had to remain calm and push through with this plan. On Thursday you pretended to be 'planning' with Mitsuri all day long when actuality you were just lending her a hand for the day and listening to her endless excitement ramblings about Kanae's wedding although you did tense up when she asked you a question-

"Have you paid your debts back to Sanemi yet?''

"I still have to count the amount of money I have and compare it to how much I owe them, but I'm certain I have enough. I plan on presenting it to them Saturday."

That seemed to satisfy her enough because she dropped the subject in favor of showing you how she planned on decorating the building for the ceremony. On Friday you spent the earlier part of the day counting through all the money you had and packing a bag of what little items you had. Eighty five coins in total. That was more than enough to pay them back. And then came the big day. Saturday morning. The day of the practice run. You had but one chance to get this right and you wouldn't allow yourself to go down without a fight. It was to go as followed. A local would be assigned to take you a quarter up the mountain to a small stream and then leave you there for your 'husband' (a.k.a whichever brother the Elder picked-) would come and receive you, and it was today that you would find out which brother was chosen. You did all you could to prepare for this day. You recounted the coins you had, made sure everything was packed into your bad (which wasn't very big anyways considering you had little to no belongings really-) including the map of the mountain you swiped from the small local library your village had (you'd be needing it if you planned on climbing the mountain), and changed into the plain white kimono Mitsuri had given you. After all the plan WAS to act like nothing was wrong, so if you wanted to blend in, the best thing to do was to go along with it and act like nothing was wrong. But no one would know you were actually NOT planning on waiting for the person assigned from the Elders to come get you to escort you to your destination. Oh NO!

You were going to flee-

With a small tug, you tossed the small bag over your chest and right shoulder and slowly stood before you turned to the door. You felt unsure. Butterflies were in your stomach and a cold chill ran through you when your brain eventually willed your feet to slowly step one after another over towards the door until your body was close enough to shakily reach a timid hand out to grab the door and opened it with a small noise. The first thing to wash over the tired body of yours was the first few warm sunlight which blessed the world with it's blessings and gifts of light however it did little to calm your nerves, especially as you sucked in a shaking breath into your frigid lungs and took a step outside. Your body felt light as you willed yourself you go step by step out of your home, the only home you've ever known, for the very last time, gave one last look at the old home before turning back with a sigh and continued along your way. Barely anyone was awake this early in the morning with the rays of lights first coming up from the sky. As you passed house after house, you only noticed a handful of people out today, mostly farmers who needed the early start to tend to their crops or animals or anyone who needed to get anything done. Good. The less people who noticed you the better. Your first course of action was to find either Sanemi or Genya and give them both the money and the note you had written. You weren't going to just leave without explaining anything to anyone, so you would leave a note behind which you had explained in detail your deeds along with an apology for what you've done. It shouldn't be too hard to find one of the two brothers, as they often do take shifts day and night guarding the village and everyone in it. It was always a possibility to find one of them here, if not you'll leave the money and note the Elders before you left. But as if the gods heard your prayers-

Fate smiled upon you.

You were nearing the exit of the village, where you were supposed to be taken by an escort out, but you weren't going to wait for them. You were planning on getting the heck OUT of here whether they liked it or not. You had just hurriedly walked around the corner, when you saw the one person who you were actually hoping to run into despite avoiding him for most of your life.

No. Not Sanemi.

Genya! It was easy to spot the tall man standing there near the exit of town. He was a hard one to miss. He was a young man, only a year or two younger than you wearing that famous black uniform with the purple overcoat of his but what made him stand out from most other guards in your village was that Genya chose to wield both a sword and a weapon called a gun. You hadn't ever seen him use it, but you'd heard the sound it made when it went off and it chilled you to the bone. It was like thunder he could summon at will at any moment! Another reason why you tended to avoid him as well. But even if someone didn't know Genya could tell both him and Sanemi were related. Both had a very similar face full of old scars, with a famous temper and attitude to match, but from what you've seen and heard of the younger brother, he seemed kinder...Or maybe that was wishful thinking. He was more distinguished to tell apart from his brother however with his black mohawk on top his head. When you first saw him, your body automatically stopped registering it as Sanemi. He was just standing there, leaning against the side of a house looking in the direction of the rising sun almost boredly. But then your released a shaking breath upon seeing it was in fact not Sanemi, but Genya. The relief was only half taken away however. You still had to go up to him and chat to him, to be able to give him both the money and the note meant for the elders, which was easier said than done. You knew on a basic level what Sanemi thought of you as he made it clear with his faces, but what about Genya? Did he hate you too? Or was he indifferent to the entire thing? You never spoke with him long enough to find out. But-..You again looked up to the sky. It was lighter now, soon everyone would be waking up, and your chance of escaping quickly would be gone. This was a chance you HAD to take! Hate you or not, Genya was a final obstacle you had to overcome between you and your freedom, and you were going to fight for your freedom, even if you had to claw tooth and nail for it! So you sucked in a deep breath, setting your jaw firmly, and with your grip on the note in your hands increasing, you marched your way towards the younger brother who still failed to notice you yet. You had to remain firm but casual, to not arose suspicion from anyone especially someone who had weapons. Make this fast, easy, and over with.

"Genya!?"

His reaction to you loudly calling his name was-...Not what you were expecting. In fact in made you momentarily pause in your tracks when he suddenly gave out a noise that sounded like something between a flustered chicken and a sick cat's cough, jumping from his place against the wall and instantly whipping his head towards you with an almost flustered-startled look. He froze. You froze. And for about six seconds, you both just stared at each other in silence.

...Before you cleared your throat and slowly started towards him again. "Uh...Good morning." You smiled and gave a timid wave at him to try to come off as friendly to him. "Genya, isn't it? I don't believe we've met, but my name's Y/n! I think you might know about me however."

For a longer moment Genya didn't move still, and you stopped just a yard away from him. He stared at you more before finally reacting by instantly straightening up and turning his darkening pink face away from you. "Y-YEAH!! I've heard about you!" he forcibly barked out. "Y-You're the p-pretty woman who's making my brother turn into an angry badger!" You blinked...did he just call you pretty- "W-W-WHAT DO YOU WANT!? CAN'T YOU S-S-SEE I'M BUSY WITH MY PATROL!?"

Well straight to the point at least. You smiled wider. "Actually, I have a gift for you!" Your free hand instantly went to the bag at your hip to quickly open the top and shoved your hand inside.

Meanwhile he gave off a questioning noise before daring to look back to you. "A...A g-g-gift? F-F-For m-me?"

"Yes. Something I owed you for the longest time." He seemed to be frozen even at the thought of you gifting him anything, when the jingling of metal coins reached the both of your ears, and you held up the source of said noise being a large leather pouch. "Here. The payment my family owed yours. I no longer want to carry it's burden on my shoulders."

And Genya...still didn't respond. Looks like he might not believe you, so with another strange squawk from him you dared to reach out and grabbed his hand which made his face go from pink to red, and forced him to hold it out before you dropped the payment into his hand. He sputtered like a fish out of water when you let go of his wrist looking between you and the money bag several times.

"W-W-What's this!?"

"Money. Eighty five coins to be exact. I counted them myself last night."

His eyes seemed to widen at that...before he looked back to the bag in his hands. "E-Eighty five?..T-That's-"

"The debt paid plus some interest," you cut him off making him look back to you as you smiled. "So I no longer owe the two of you anything. ....Where's Sanemi by the way?"

"I-I-I-..." He sputtered lifting the bag more and seeming to weigh it in his hands. "...H-He's asleep. H-He has to rest for s-s-some special duty tonight."

And at this point you felt a punch to your gut. The ice from before returning into your veins as the realization hit you. The Elders had made their choice. And the choice they chose for you was Sanemi. No...No. NONONONO!!! You refused this! Your worst fear had come to light! Sanemi...was to be your 'future spouse'- NO! You shook your head body shaking. Snap out of it and come to your senses! Sanemi was asleep! Everyone was still yet to wake up still! YOU STILL HAD TIME!!

"Genya!," you snapped in a serious tone making the taller man jump and blink at you. Your serious eyes narrowing daggers into his. "I need you to listen to me! I NEED you to deliver something very important to the Elders for me! It could mean someone's life and death!" Well...maybe not someone's death, but certainly someone's life. YOUR LIFE.

"I-I-I-....W-What is it that you need?" He fell silent again as you held up the folded note to him. Dumbly, he just stared at it before you quickly wagged it at him and he got the initiative to slowly reach up with a free hand to take it from you with a blink. "....W-What is it?"

"A note to the elders explaining everything! It MUST be delivered to them today and it MUST be delivered to them BEFORE Sanemi is sent out anywhere!," you stressed to him seriously, "Do you understand what I say?"

"I-I-.." He seemed to swallow a bit before he just looked at you and nodded and you sighed.

"Good. Then I must go now!" Without even giving him room to say anything, you quickly stepped around him and tightening your grip on your bag, you began running towards the exit leading to the mountain.

"W-Wha- H-HEY!! W-WHERE ARE YOU GOING!?"

You smiled not even having the heart to look back at the sputtering man as you let your legs carry you towards the way of freedom. It was over.

"TO FREEDOM!!"

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ashrillvenheim · 2 years ago

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Awakening Past Chapter 5

QUICK NOTE: THANKS YOU FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT!!!!

pairing: Ashley Graham x Leon S Kennedy.

Content: (+18) romance, angst, gore, erotic/suggestive themes at some point , slow burn, violence, action.

If you're a MINOR or feel unconfortable with any of this genres, please DON'T keep reading, thank you.

Word count: to much to count (minimum of 2k-3k) :3

About: Saddler is dead, and with him the threat that was hanging over the two survivors of the island. Leon and Ashley return home with the intention of getting their lives back on track, but it’s not going to be that easy. Two years have passed since they returned from that hell and it seems that everything is back to its place, but it seems that Spain was only the beginning.

A transition from RE4 Leon to ID Leon.

WORK LIST

MASTERLIST

prev / next

He looked, arms folded, at the suitcases on the bed. He was sure he had everything, but he still had the feeling he was forgetting something...or yes, the jacket he lost a year and half ago. He sighed heavily. He really liked that jacket, a birthday present he received from Patrick, too bad he lost it.

He put the few weapons he had on the flat in order.

He had no idea what environment he was going to so he would carry all the essentials. His cell phone vibrated and Hunnigan's face appeared on the other end.

“I just heard about it.” she said, clearly surprised.

Leon leaned his cell phone against the alarm and continued to organize things under the watchful eye of his partner.

“Yes, well, I was notified yesterday, I haven't even had time to eat breakfast, I've been up most of the night organizing the material, do you know anything new?”

“I was hoping you could enlighten me a little.”

Leon stood up, stretching and remembering the conversation he had the day before with the president.

“You called me, Mr. Graham?”

The man smiled.

“Yes Leon, come in.”

The agent entered and closed the door behind him. He approached the desk and accepted the president's invitation to sit down.

“Is something wrong?”

“It's nothing serious, don't worry.”

Kennedy's shoulders relaxed at the clarification. Mr. Graham rarely called him directly and in the cases when he had, it had been for an emergency.

The man watched the young agent carefully, considering how to start the conversation. He could tell him everything, but... there was something that made him want to play a little, so he sketched a smile under his clasped hands.

“You see, there's been an attack on Amherst College and we don't know who organized it. It seems they were interested in one of the faculty members, but her two assistants managed to keep them from taking her. There were two officers on campus and one of them was injured in the confrontation.” He paused, looking carefully at Leon's reaction and then continued. “We think they may be part of a larger organization, but as you know, we're a little short-handed and the agent who was unharmed can't take care of three witnesses. That's why I was thinking of putting you and Patrick in charge of protecting two of them. We don't know if they're going to try to take them again, so I want you to move in there and keep an eye on them until we find out who was responsible.”

“Who would I need to protect?”

“I had thought that the current agent would take care of the teacher since she has been the main victim and you would take care of her apprentice while Patrick keeps an eye on her secretary.”

“Do you know who they are? I could do some research before I go.”

Graham was silent, thinking of a solution to his question. He wanted it to be a surprise.

“I didn't want them to reveal their identities to me for security reasons, we don't want them to target the other two.”

Leon nodded.

“I understand, when do you want me to go?”

“Tomorrow.”

“That was fast.” Hunnigan whispered.

“Yeah, he told Patrick when he came back from buying dinner.”

“Now I understand why he had to leave so suddenly.” sighed Hunnigan, understanding Patrick's attitude when he returned to the office.

“ We'll go on a booked flight and separate at the airport.”

Hunnigan made a sound of affirmation.

“I guess I'll know more about the case by the end of the day.”

Leon closed one of the suitcases.

“Keep me informed, I'll talk to you later.”

“Copy that.”

The screen went black and Leon continued folding the last of the clothes. He looked at his belongings and then at the room.

He didn't have much stuff, most of it was the same things he had been wearing for the last 8 years, not much had changed since he joined the DSO, just the numbers in his bank account. Hunnigan told him he could afford luxuries with that salary, the problem was he didn't think it was worth it if he barely spent any time at home. Although he had to admit that the last two years he hadn't had to relocate too much. When he was assigned next to the president he had to move, but since then he had stayed in that apartment.

Although there were times when he didn't feel like it was home.

Since leaving for Raccoon City to work as a police officer he hadn't settled anywhere. He went back and forth between assignments and sometimes longer periods than others. There were times when he felt more at home in the office than in his own home and he was sure that the reason for that was having Patrick and Hunnigan to keep him company.

And after Spain that feeling had intensified.

Maybe that was why he had agreed to travel to Amherst, so they couldn't send him on another mission to a forgotten place, accompanied by a gun and his thoughts.

Sometimes it was hard.

He took a deep breath and looked at the time. They would come for him in 30 minutes. The dial tone startled him and he grunted before picking up.

“I hate you.”

Leon fell silent at the statement and rolled his eyes.

“Good morning to you too.”

“Couldn't you have given me a heads up before accepting?”

“Patrick, it wasn't accept or not, you know that if the president asks us to do this, we have to.”

He heard a murmur and some cursing in the background.

“You still could have warned me before, I wouldn't have left Hunnigan like that.”

Leon smiled.

“Don't worry, I talked to her this morning and she understood.”

“Do you have her number?”

He rolled his eyes.

“She's been my intelligence agent since Spain, how could I not have her number?”

Patrick muttered again.

“Stop doing that.”

“Stop what?”

“Muttering like an old lady, if Hunnigan heard you she'd slap your face.”

“And why would I believe you?”

“Because she hates people who talk behind her back and that's why she doesn't tell two idiots like us to fuck off. Because we're direct even if it's stupidities.”

“Don't lump me in with you.”

“We're two jerks and you know it.”

There was a long silence in which only the sound of cars and horns could be heard, only to later hear a chuckle on the other side.

“You're an idiot, Kennedy.” laughed Patrick defeated. Leon smiled, closing the rest of the suitcases.

“The pleasure is mutual.”

They both laughed and ended the call. Leon looked at his messages before sending one to Hunnigan.

" Pass your contact to Patrick, he’ll be in charge of the teacher's secretary."

He saw Ingrid read the message and took several seconds to respond.

" Okay."

He smiled and started to take things down to the entrance.

They got out of the car and headed for the private jet that had been provided for them.They would take a flight to Boston and then travel to Amherst by car. Hunnigan had provided them with the addresses of their protégés and they would meet them as soon as they arrived.

He sat back in the plush seat and looked out the window. Patrick plopped down with a grunt in front of him.

“I haven't slept for shit.”

“Get in line.”

Johnson crossed his legs and accepted the drink the flight staff brought them.

“Try sleeping on the trip.”

The curly-haired man looked at him in surprise.

“Don't you sleep too?”

Leon kept his attention on the window in silence before answering.

“It's hard for me to sleep on planes, I'll rest in the car on the way to Amherst.”

Johnson watched him for a few moments before shrugging his shoulders and settling in. By the time he wanted to realize it Patrick had fallen unconscious in the arms of Morpheus. Kennedy smiled and surveyed the landscape stretching for miles beneath his feet. His mind relived the road he had traveled 2 years and half earlier, so different and far away.

He wondered how Ashley was doing at Boston University...he hadn't heard from her since. They did share occasional messages for a couple of months but gradually lost touch. His blue eyes went down to his lap where he looked at the bracelet on his wrist. He wondered if he would ever be able to return it to her. Maybe when she finished college she would go back to Washington, he could hand it to her when she did.

He pulled out his cell phone and decided to pass the time, at least until Patrick started snoring. His hand paused on the screen as he remembered that night he came back with his partner from the bar. He spent almost an hour under the cold water, which to his misfortune only reminded him of the freezing rain on moonless nights in Spain.

And there were memories that threatened his control.

And he didn't like that.

Then he heard a snore, an instant before he saw Patrick bounce on the seat and wake up from the shock.

“Are we under attack?” he stammered, still disoriented.

“I am. You attack me with your snoring.”

Patrick frowned.

“I don't snore.”

Leon arched his eyebrows.

“You just did.”

“Bullshit.”

“Do you want me to show you?” He held up his cell phone, hinting at a possible recording. Patrick turned red with embarrassment.

“You’re bluffing.”

Leon smiled.

“I can send it to Hunnigan to check it out.”

The man turned pale and before he could process his actions he leapt at Leon. The agent dodged him nimbly and prepared to pin him in a headlock, but a stewardess gave each of them a slap in the head.

“Behave like adults.”

“Yes, ma'am.”

The rest of the trip was silent.

She turned the car key and the engine shut off smoothly. She closed the windows and got out to open the trunk. She stared at the bags and took a deep breath.

She wasn't planning on making two trips, she fucking swears she was going to carry all the bags upstairs at once.

“This is what you train for, Ashley.” she said to herself, taking the handles and hanging them on her shoulders and arms. She closed the door with her leg and started her journey to the elevator.

The metal doors opened and a woman with shiny black hair looked up at her through her round glasses, startled.

“A-Ashley!” she exclaimed nervously. She nodded at her with a broad smile.

“Hello Daisy.”

The dark-haired girl looked at all the bags Graham was carrying, puzzled.

“Do you need help?” she asked sheepishly.

Ashley laughed, playing it down.

“It’s okay, this is just a little training.” She joked, lifting the bags as if they weighed nothing. Daisy seemed to hesitate, but nodded, aware that she probably couldn't even handle one of them. She still wondered where Ashley got so much strength. So she gave a shy smile and stepped out of the elevator.

“Be careful," she said sweetly, waving goodbye to her.

“You too.” Graham replied.

Ashley watched her walk for a few seconds trying to perceive some anomaly in her, but everything seemed to be in place. She couldn't help but worry about Daisy, she was a lovely woman who suffered from having a very delicate constitution, so she didn't want to risk dislocating her shoulder by carrying one of the bags.

She pressed her number with her knee and sighed heavily. She was going to use that week to leave food ready for exam week so she could focus on studying. She was lost in thought for a few moments until she smelled a familiar scent. She arched a quizzical eyebrow and waited for the elevator doors to open to see a man waiting in front of the door to her apartment. He turned when he heard the elevator’s "ding" and his face became one of relief.

“Ashley! I was looking for you," he approached her, "I wanted to ask you to help me move some furniture out of the workshop, would you mind?”

Graham raised her bags with a chuckle.

“Then, I'd appreciate if you'd take the keys out of my pocket.”

The man laughed and opened the door for her so she could put the things in.

“Let me get changed and get all these in place. I'll be down in a moment.”

He nodded and left downstairs.

Ashley laughed petting the dogs. It looked like she was in demand today. Well, it was nice to have some novelty now and then in her monotonous routine, wasn't it?

The music rocked him in the car. His eyelids were heavy and his body almost seemed to be floating.He didn't know how long he had been traveling or how much longer he had left. He just wanted to sleep.

The driver had been carrying on a conversation with him until he saw the agent's eyes close as they spoke.

He hadn't slept for two days. The second from having to prepare for the trip, the first from an onslaught of nightmares.

His body had relieved many of his recurring dreams in a single night, but this time he didn't see Ashley in them. During the dream he had had that strange feeling that something was wrong, a bad feeling clenching his stomach.

He half-opened his eyes, perceiving the forest on the side of the road.

He didn't want to be paranoid, but every time he had that feeling something happened, like the sudden university attack.

Maybe it would calm down when he got there, there was not much left.

His eyelids became heavy again as if he was floating back in the dark. No sounds, no distractions, just him, suspended in the void. He missed those moments of peace, maybe he could use this mission. A quieter one where he didn't have to worry about dodging bullets or getting bitten or betrayed.

He'd had enough of that.

He was supposed to have to accompany the apprentice everywhere, including the university. Honestly, he was curious about that part. Something so mundane that he hadn't experienced since high school and the Academy. It would be a nice change of scenery, he just hoped the person he had to protect wasn't a jerk. The last thing he needed was to babysit unwitting students.

He sighed heavily.

“We're arriving.”

His blue eyes focused on the distance. They were entering the center of the city. A very quiet place with no tall, intimidating buildings. They took a route towards the indicated direction, a small residential area somewhat further away from the center. Leon sat upright in the seat as they turned off the main road and approached the area. The car pulled into a parking lot next to the woods and the driver turned to the agent. He held out a set of keys and informed him that his bags would arrive in an hour, after stopping by Patrick's residence. Leon nodded and got out of the car.

She kicked the furniture.

“Watch out!” she called to the attention of anyone on the floor below. The termite-infested cabinet fell with a thud, resounding thunderously and kicking up a cloud of dust. She adjusted her mask so as not to inhale the wood shavings and the smell of solvent. She didn't like being left unable to identify things around her, but it was either that or get a migraine for the rest of the day from the stench of turpentine.

“Sorry to ask for your help at the last minute.” apologized the shop owner, grabbing another box and loading it into the truck.

“Don't worry, I had just came back from shopping.”

The man looked worried.

“Are you sure you're alright? We heard about the explosion on campus yesterday.” he pointed to her bandaged forearms.

Ashley waved her hands.

“Yeah, don't worry, I was caught far away," she lied, "my teacher got the worst of it.” She went back inside the workshop and towed the toppled cabinet with the man.

“Your tutor is in the hospital, isn't she?”

“They want to keep her in for observation this week, she's had a pretty bad blow.”

The man sighed with a chuckle.

“It's amazing your ability to get into trouble and always make it through it.”

Ashley laughed, splitting some boards to make them fit better.

“There's always a way out of them.” She dusted off her bicep arm cuff and her worn bib overalls and then heard a bell ring.

“Oh, Ashi! Thank you for helping my brother.” said the newly arrived woman.

“Good thing she has the strength of a bear," the man mocked, slapping her on the arm. Ashley threw the newspapers in his face.

“Says the elephant.”

All three laughed.

“The children will come now to carry the cans and tools.” the woman announced. Ashley nodded, going back upstairs and throwing away the rest of the wood.

She heard the bell ring again and the woman's voice calling the boys. She looked at the time and tightened her mask again. She already knew the scent of the whole neighborhood, she didn't have any new smells to perceive, so she would make an effort.

A gentle spring breeze ruffled his ash-brown hair. The temperature was pleasant and made him feel very calm. Petals from the park swirled around him as he walked down the sidewalk. He looked up at the treetops that adorned each side of the road. There were no tall buildings, at most three- or four-story homes, characterized by their red brick. He heard laughter and children shouting in the background, where they came and went through the doorways. He looked at the paper with the number of the building and turned away when he heard footsteps behind him, letting a gang of children pass by, coming from the park. He heard a woman call out to them in the distance and his eyes focused on a truck in front of a masonry shop. The little ones milled around the vehicle and helped load the smaller boxes.

He watched them for a while, watching the woman order them to bring in the smaller items as a man was placing them in the van.

He heard laughter inside the workshop followed by voices.

“Ashi! Get down the stairs! “

“Coming!”

He stilled suddenly and turned his attention back to the store.

Had he imagined it? That voice sounded familiar, he'd heard it before, but where... think Leon, think....

His eyes widened like saucers. No. It couldn't be, she was in Boston, was he making things up? The same voice he heard in the President's office, subtly deeper than two years ago, but unmistakable to him.

It wasn't possible and yet his body moved of its own volition, coming closer until it stopped a few feet away.

The sounds around him became buzzing.

He needed to check, to know that his mind wasn't playing tricks on him and that it was simply a voice that resembled hers. Nothing more.

A box of cans fell and the man maneuvering with the large cabinet stepped on them. He exclaimed and reflexively grabbed the shelf, falling with a thud to the edge of the trunk and then to the floor. He grunted getting up only to yelp as he saw the piece of furniture fall on top of him.

Leon was slow.

A creak echoed and the cabinet was suspended, held up by a figure that had stopped it in its tracks with her own body. She gripped the shelves with all her might and grunted.

“A little help.”

All the children and the two adults helped her and pushed it back into the van.

Leon froze. He watched that blond mane shake, shaving off the shavings and stifled a gasp, running out of air. His perplexed eyes riveted on the masked woman's profile. His heart began to pump adrenaline.

Could it be, could it really be her? An intense tingling began to form in his fingers, unable to move, unable to speak.

He just had to call her, say her name to know if she was real, but his voice didn't seem to want to come out.

“A little more and you're a termite omelet.” she gasped before the effort of stopping the furniture with her body.

“Are you alright?” The man anguished, still pale from the event, but she slapped him on the back removing her mask.

“It takes more than a closet to finish me off. “

Her heart almost broke her ribs.

That smell... That unmistakable smell took her breath away. Her body froze and a shiver ran down her entire back. She could never mistake that scent that had been burned into her memories.

But it didn't make sense that he was there.

“Ashley?”

A shock jolted her.

That voice. Unmistakable, sweet, and one she'd missed so much.

Her body turned rigidly, afraid she was imagining things, to meet those ocean irises and him with her gold ones. And then Leon saw the bracelet with the aquamarine stone.

The stone he gave her.

It was her, it was real, not an illusion or a figment of his imagination. The woman in front of him was Ashley Graham, just as the man she stared at in bewilderment was Leon Kennedy.

Trembling, she parted her plump lips.

“Leon?”

His body was shocked.

That soft voice snapped him out of his thoughts. He watched her mask fall from her hands, oblivious to the man speaking to her, her eyes static, still in shock.

They both looked at each other perplexed, still processing what their eyes were seeing. But their bodies remembered. They remembered the warmth of the other as if it had melted into them, a warmth that although they were not yet conscious, they had missed terribly. Maybe they shouldn't have hugged, she was still his boss's daughter, but he wanted it so badly...just like her, too much and so their bodies moved of their own accord, breaking the chains of their own logic.

Screw it.

In two strides they closed the space between them and joined their bodies in a tight embrace. They filled their lungs with each other's scent, so distant in their memories yet just as vividly as it was 2 years ago. Ashley wrapped her arms around his neck and Leon held her around the waist, perhaps a little too tightly.

They didn't understand anything, they didn't know why the other was in that place, but what they did know was that they had missed each other more than they would have imagined. They both let out soft nervous giggles, trembling with excitement in each other's arms.

“Is it really you, or have I lost my mind?” whispered the woman close to his ear, sending shocks down his back.

“Sorry, I'm still working on that cloning thing.”

They laughed without letting go of each other, afraid that if they did, one would disappear and now that they found each other, they didn't want to be separated again. Ashley tightened her embrace and a deep chuckle whispered in her ear.

“If you hug me that tight you're going to end up breaking my neck.”

She laughed sweetly.

“Says the one who wants to leave me in a wheelchair.”

Leon gave her a gentle squeeze smiling, listening to his and Ashley's hearts rumble like thunder.

“You saved that man from a major health bill.” he purred teasingly, drawing a soft laugh from the blonde.

“He owes me a meal for a month.”

Leon couldn't contain his laughter and his chest vibrated against hers, causing them to begin to come down from the cloud they had plunged into.

Finally they broke apart and looked at each other with a dazzling smile.

“What are you doing here?”

Leon gave a lopsided smile.

“I could ask you the same thing.”

Ashley laughed.

“I study at Amherst College.”

The news took the agent by surprise.

“Weren't you in Boston?”

“Yes, but I found a professor who taught a degree that was only here, so I transferred.”

“Wow... I didn't know that.”

“I didn't tell many people, I preferred to be known as little as possible here.”

“I understand.”

The man looked down at Ashley's arms and noticed the elastic bandages covering her forearms.

“What happened to you?”

She saw what he meant and smiled, waving her hands to play it down.

“A bruise, they're compression bandages for swelling.”

The agent raised an eyebrow, but Ashley quickly changed the subject.

“Are you looking for something, or someone?”

Leon took a second, but answered.

“Well yes, I'm looking for block 7, do you know where it is?”

“Oh, it's that building over there.” she pointed to the doorway across the road from the shop before adding “I know you may not be able to tell me, but can I ask why you are here?

“I assume you're aware of the accident at the university.”

“Yes, in my department, I guess you've come to investigate.”

Leon's eyes widened like saucers.

“Excuse me, in your department?”

Ashley looked at him in confusion.

“Yesterday a group of mercenaries attacked the wing where Professor Narsson's workshop was located and tried to take her away. One of the agents there, James Laurent, was injured.”

Leon's brain began to connect the dots faster and faster.

“How do you know these details? It's supposed to be confidential.”

“Because I was there.”

“Did you see what happened?”

Ashley laughed, raising her bandaged forearms.

“Let's just say I managed not to be left without a teacher.”

Leon stood there, understanding everything at last and his heart began to beat wildly.

“Are you the teacher's disciple?”

“Well, disciple is a lot, I'm interning with her.” she saw the uncertainty on the man's face “is something wrong?”

Leon put his hand to his face, trying to contain himself.

Graham knew. The president had played with him. He knew Leon didn't know the news of Ashley's transfer, that he still believed she was in Boston and had played him.

“Damn it Mr. Graham.” he cursed in a whisper.

Ashley became worried.

“Leon, are you okay?”

He took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves and regained his composure to look at the woman in front of him.

“Your father has pulled my leg.”

Ashley tilted her head uncomprehendingly.

“My father?”

Leon sighed with a smile before looking at her again, why was he so nervous?

“Mr. Graham has sent me and Patrick to help the agent on surveillance duty here.” He paused, resting his hand on his hip, “I am in charge of your security.”

He looked at Ashley silently, who returned a stunned expression.

“What?” she blinked “wait, wait, wait.” she waved her hands in the air “My father sent you as the bodyguard?”

Leon smiled playfully.

“I guess we're back to old times.”

Ashley kept looking at him confused, as if she didn't believe his words, then frowned, clearly angry.

“He has made you a babysitter. He knows how much work you have and he puts you as a babysitter.”

“What are you talking about? I didn't know it was you.”

“No! No! I'm not mad at you or anything, it's just that I think the last thing you want to do is babysit someone.”

He got it.

Leon smiled, placing a hand on the shoulder of the young woman he no longer had to look down at.

“I'll be honest with you. I think I prefer a quiet season. Watching a college girl on a day-to-day basis seems more appealing to me than running from chainsaw wielding psychopaths.”

Ashley looked at him dumbfounded one second and the next she started laughing helplessly.

“Are you sure? It's a field of raging hormones.” she sighed theatrically, “You're going to bring me more problems than solutions.”

Leon raised his eyebrows.

“Why is that?”

Ashley didn't think he meant it and couldn't help but smile before telling him nonchalantly.

“Have you seen yourself?”

Leon stretched out his arms looking at himself as if he was searching for something out of the ordinary.

“In the mirror, this morning.”

Ashley rolled her eyes and laughed softly.

“You look like a Playboy model Leon, if they doesn't jump down my throat it's going to be a miracle.”

A subtle tingle fluttered in his stomach at those blunt words, but he was Leon Kennedy and it was his job to be a nuisance among other things.

“Well, I'm here to put myself in the way if they go for your jugular, aren't I?”

She laughed out loud.

“Don't worry, I'm used to that, protecting me from those beasts is going to be the least of your problems.”

Those words, for some reason, didn't make him feel at ease and his smile faded now more worried.

“Has something happened to you?”

The woman waved her hands unconcernedly.

“Nothing I wasn't expecting.”

That answer did not seem to convince Leon much, but he could not ask when Ashley motioned him to follow her towards the portal. She returned for a moment to the workshop, where she said goodbye to the group and could continue with the agent.

“Where are you staying?”

Leon read the paper.

“4b.”

Ashley looked at him dumbly for a few seconds, catching the man's eye.

“Is something wrong?”

Her lips curled up and she denied.

“Come, I'll walk with you.”

Leon nodded and followed her.

It was a large renovated building. High ceilings and sturdy walls that conveyed security. The agent scanned every nook and cranny for any weak spots, but the structure was solid and he was glad to see he wouldn't have to worry about it for now. He looked ahead again, up the stairs and felt his stomach cringe for a second.

He couldn't see the whole thing, but from the sleeveless side of the shirt peeked one end of the scar on Ashley's back, reaching over her right shoulder. For an instant he flashed back to that moment in Salazar's castle. To the pool of blood that formed beneath her as she writhed in pain on the floor. He closed his eyes for a moment, feeling that small darkness return to him.

“Here it is.”

Her words pulled him away from the edge of the well and the pressure disappeared. Leon took the keys out of his pocket and opened the lock.

“By the way” he turned to Ashley “where do you live?”

Her smile grew wider, even mocking. She turned on her heel and opened the door opposite Leon's door.

“I hope we get along well, neighbor.”

Leon looked at her puzzled for a moment, then laughed helplessly.

She was still surprising him.

Ashley could see, over the man's shoulder, the empty flat and looked at him questioningly.

“You didn't bring anything?”

Leon looked around the interior of his apartment and noticed the clock.

“It's supposed to be–”

The cell phone began to ring, drawing a smile from the man.

“My order has arrived.”

Ashley set the cartons down next to the entrance and closed the door.

“I'll help you carry them up.”

“Don't worry, besides, they're heavy.”

But Ashley ignored his words and was already walking down the stairs.

They were going to have debates, he could see it coming.

He went down after her and outside they met the van carrying Leon's bags.

The rest of the afternoon was quiet.

Ashley helped carry Leon's things upstairs and offered to help disassemble them. For some reason the agent wasn't fidgeting. If it were anyone else he wouldn't feel comfortable letting them rummage through his personal effects, but Ashley respected him. He would set the things out for her and she would find an appropriate place to store them. She even cleaned up much of the dust before putting the clothes away in the closets. They talked mostly about anecdotes in the wake of her father's playfulness. Leon mentioned that he never thought Graham would be a joking man to which Ashley responded with an exaggerated laugh. She told him about the prank he played on her babysitter when she was a little girl.

He took the cat they had at the time and disguised it as a spider, only to let it loose at night in the house. They left for a dinner party, but when the young boy who was left in Ashley's care came across the cat...she remembered the scream, how he came running for her, picked her up and took her up to the attic. The cat followed them all over the house, nearly giving the poor man a heart attack. He called her parents in panic and when his father removed the animal's costume he said he was resigning in tears. He was a very good kangaroo and her parents loved him very much so he apologized and promised not to do it again.

“And did he keep his promise?”

Ashley's hands stopped with the shirt in her hand.

“My mother almost killed him when she couldn't hold back the next time.”

Leon laughed.

“I'm surprised your father was more of a pain in the ass than you were, being you the child.”

Ashley hung up the garment looking at him questioningly.

“Why do you say that?”

The man smiled cheekily.

“You gave me a headache.”

She opened her mouth indignantly and threw the pillow at him.

“I remind you that you were a jerk!!! I'm still saving you from the waste chute!!!”

“But did I lie?”

Ashley turned red and threw another pillow.

“Correction, you're still a jerk.”

Leon laughed, catching the pillow in the air and watched Ashley smile too. It made him happy to see her smile after everything they went through. His main worry since then was that she wouldn't make it.

Ashley looked around the apartment as she hung up the jackets.

It was smaller than hers, that's for starters. The entrance led into the side of the living room, the brightest and largest part of the house. Behind the sofa was a wide kitchen island with seating and enough space to double as a dining table. Behind the fridge was the hallway wall that led to the bedroom and bathroom, plus another room Leon would use for training.

“Hey Ashley.” he called from the bedroom.

She turned toward the hallway.

“Yes?”

“Do you know a place to eat around here? or do some shopping? I'm starving.”

A little tingle ran through the woman's body at the proposal she was thinking of, but she didn't panic.

“I was going to tell you to come to my house for dinner. I was going to prepare it when I was asked for help.”

In the bedroom Leon closed the drawer and took off his jacket.

“Why not? I'm not going to refuse to be invited to dinner.” he poked his head in with a mischievous grin.

“You're going to have to fight with the other two.” The agent left the jacket in the room and stayed in his simple black T-shirt that enhanced his athletic figure. Ashley watched him for a few seconds, but noticed something else, something she thought Leon would no longer be wearing.

“You're still wearing the bracelet..." she whispered.

Leon raised his wrist as he realized he hadn't taken it off and for a second his cheeks grew hot with embarrassment.

“I was hoping to give it back to you when you finished college, but now that I'm at it," he whispered. He removed the metal clasp, but soft hands rested on his gently. Leon looked up at the woman, who watched him with a broad smile.

“Remember I told you I'd ask for it back?” she hooked the clasp again and held his hand between hers. “ I don't need it yet, so take care of it for me a little longer, okay?” her voice was soft, a caress on Leon's ears who could only feel the warmth of her skin.

Ashley seemed satisfied and motioned for him to follow her. Leon closed the door behind him and walked with her, but he didn't expect what he found on the other side.

Two large dogs were staring at him, one with a large white spot on his face and the other with distinctive cream eyebrows.

“ So this is what you meant with the other two” he pointed without moving from the spot.

Ashley nodded.

“It's their dinnertime and they're not used to sharing.” she joked with a smile. Leon rested his hands on his hips and looked at them playfully.

“Well, it's polite to introduce yourself, I'm Leon.

The dog with eyebrows barked and sat down on the floor, and his spotted brother silently mimicked him.

“The one with the spot is Pepper and the other one is Mint.”

Leon's eyes widened and looked at Ashley.

She smiled sheepishly with flushed cheeks.

“I found them in Boston and the only thing that came to mind was your gum.”

Leon stared at her trying to figure out if she was fooling him, but when he saw that she wasn't, he burst out laughing and knelt down in front of the canines. They approached him to sniff him, somewhat reluctant at first, but soon caught a familiar scent on him and ended up on the floor on their bellies. Leon was surprised by their docility oblivious to Ashley's gaze who understood perfectly why he was no stranger to them, but said nothing.

“They have helped me a lot since I found them.”

“Did they abandon them?”

She was silent for a few seconds and then smiled faintly at him.

“They lost their mother at birth.”

Leon's hand paused on Mint's belly and raised his azure orbs to her.

“Forgive me.”

Ashley looked at him blankly and then waved her hands nervously.

“Oh! no no no no, I'm fine, I just thought it was a great coincidence and I guess that's what made us become so close, right guys?”

The two rolled around on the floor like kibble, drawing laughter from the humans.

“Okay, let's get to work.”

Ashley changed out of her stained dungarees into clean sweatpants and picked up where she left off in the kitchen. Leon hung out with the dogs for a while longer and then approached the woman. He looked around the apartment and saw small devices placed at some points in the flat.

“I see you have cameras.” he pointed out as he investigated the rest.

“For when I'm not at home.”

Leon looked surprised.

“Is anyone with you during the day?”

Ashley denied.

“I’m here and I have two dogs, I don't need anyone to watch me if I feel like getting out of the shower and lying in the living room.”

The statement took Leon by surprise, but he understood. That's how they felt at the time they were locked in quarantine.

It must not have been pleasant. Being the president's daughter had its benefits, but also a great loss of privacy.

Leon passed her the vegetables and asked her to let him help her. Ashley held out an apron and smiled.

“I have to admit, it's hard to take you seriously with an apron on.”

“Ha, ha very funny.” He tied the ribbon behind hir neck “that doesn't make me any less professional.”

Ashley laughed, cutting up the pieces.

“It does when I picture you shooting in a suit and apron.”

Leon rolled his eyes.

“What little respect you have for government agents.”

She raised the knife threateningly.

“Only self-absorbed egomaniacs.”

“I'm not a self-important egomaniac.”

Ashley walked into the living room and parted the curtains.

“Sorry, I forgot to open the window so your ego could enter this house.”

Leon looked at her in bewilderment, amazed at the nerve she had acquired over the years that he had never known.

“I don't remember you ever being so bold.”

The woman smiled mockingly at him.

“I learned from the best.”

The agent opened his mouth to retort, but could only let out a snort in defeat.

“Touché.”

Joy vibrated in the air. They talked about everything and nothing in particular, nonsense and jokes. It had been a long time since Leon had laughed so hard. As he talked with Ashley the hours flew by, his worries became lighter and the drudgery of work lessened. He was very surprised to see her so changed, even though she was still the same. Not only her stronger and more trained physique, now almost as tall as him, she radiated a more mature and calmer aura, without leaving that laughing side that characterized her.

The dogs fluttered around her from time to time and they both laughed when they cried for a piece.

Still, Leon couldn't help but feel concerned when he saw her forearms. She had been hurt and it distressed him. Could she be telling him the truth? He didn't distrust her, but he knew Ashley was capable of keeping things to herself so as not to upset him.

He admired her determination, but at the same time it worried him.

“Hey Ashley, what grade do you have here that wasn't in Boston?”

She carried the plates over to the table.

“Paleobiology.”

Leon turned around as if he had just heard the biggest nonsense in existence.

“Is that related to dinosaurs?”

Ashley laughed.

“More to fossils in general. Professor Narsson is a well-known paleontologist who spent a couple of weeks teaching seminars in Boston.” She paused, putting down the forks and thinking about how to continue without giving away all the reasons for the direction of her studies. “I was fascinated by her classes and when I talked to her I decided to come to Amherst to pursue this field. It has a lot of research in it, it's something I've always liked.”

It wasn't a lie, she liked it, but that it was the professor's classes that prompted her to decide to make the switch wasn't entirely true.

But Leon didn't have to know. Not for the time being.

“How did your father take it?”

Ashley sighed, remembering the time it took to convince him.

“It was a little complicated, but he was sold on the idea that I would be doing more lab work than field exploration.”

Leon brought the dish to the table.

“And did it work?”

“Until I started making trips," she paused, turning off the oven. “After all, Narsson works with speleologists, so she has to physically go to some places.”

They sat across from each other and Ashley fed the dogs.

“And what did you do?”

Ashley smiled as she remembered the circus she put on.

“Well, let's just say I resorted to my father's methods.” Ashley began serving the meat and garnish on Leon's plate.

The agent arched his eyebrows.

“Do I know that methodology?”

“Let's just say he preferred to have an agent accompany me, rather than have me try to cross the Atlantic on my own.”

“You threatened your father?”

Ashley chewed with a chuckle.

“Dana told me to try it and it seems it worked.”

Leon was puzzled at the mention of that name so familiar to him.

“Dana? Dana Petrova?”

“Yes.”

“How do you know her?”

“She is my trainer.”

Leon almost spat out the water and choked, causing him to cough violently. Ashley hastily slapped him on the back in concern and waited for him to catch his breath before sitting back down.

“Better?" she asked anxiously.

He nodded with a hand on his throat and took a breath looking at her, puzzled.

“Are you telling me Dana is your trainer?”

“That's what I said.”

“Are you out of your mind?”

Ashley burst out laughing, holding back tears.

“I had several agents bet so I guess so.”

Leon looked at her still in disbelief.

Dana Petrova, a veteran of the DSO prior to Leon's arrival.

She was an agent described as "The President's Megalodon''. He remembered the first time he trained with her and wanted to die. Five years earlier he thought it would break every bone in his body. He had only been training as an agent for two years, but he would always remember the words she gave him when he managed to catch her with a kick and a hook.

"You never give your all until it comes down to your survival."

He didn't understand it at first, but after watching other agents take her on he did.

The combat instinct was different for those who had fought to live as he did in Raccoon City. Perspective changes, instinct overrides logic and makes you face things you would have otherwise run away from. And Dana saw it.

Instead of running away Leon responded even though he was in danger of breaking. Dana pushed him to the limit and that was the only time that instinct would come to the surface.

It was a pretty drastic method and that's why a lot of agents tried to avoid her.

Because they weren't prepared to cross that line.

He lifted his sapphire orbs to Ashley.

“How long have you been with her?”

“A year and a half.”

The agent stared at her and his irises slid to her shoulders and down her arms to her hands. He hadn't noticed until then, but he saw little band-aids on almost every finger, her nails cut to the edge and parts hardened and dry, as if she'd had calluses and her skin had molded.

“Are the arms and hands also from training?”

Ashley was surprised by the question and looked at her palms and then smiled.

“Oh, this? I do rock climbing.”

That statement took him completely by surprise, just like everything else he had told him before. He just slid his eyes to the bandages on her forearms.

“And that?” he nodded his head.

“Just bruises.” she quickly justified.

“Can I see them?”

“I was told to keep them for a few days, so it would heal sooner. I can't go climbing like this.” she laughed, trying to keep Leon from discovering that, even though her arms were bruised yesterday, they were already gone.

“I see.” he finally put a piece of meat in his mouth and held back an exclamation. “It's delicious!”

She seemed pleased by the compliment.

“I owed you the steak I promised, so enjoy it.”

Leon laughed, remembering all the things they had promised each other while they were in quarantine.

And how many they hadn't been able to keep.

Ashley watched her bodyguard eat. She was so glad to see him enjoying the food... She had to admit she still couldn't believe the situation.

There they were, she and Leon, sitting in the dining room of her home having dinner together. Honestly since that time she didn't think she would ever see him again. Not in that way at least.

But it was real. As soon as she caught his scent on the street she knew it was him and could see how surprised he was to find her there too.

She looked at him in more detail. His hair had darkened faintly the last two and a half years and on his jaw there was the shadow of the 3-day-old beard. But she could see, under his bright eyes, a darker skin tone. He looked like he hadn't rested properly. Fortunately that week classes had been suspended so she could let him catch up on his sleep.

Kennedy let out a grunt of happiness as he popped another piece into his mouth.

“Hey Leon.” The woman's voice made him look up. “What have you been doing for the last two years?”

“Oh, uh…” smiled the agent a little nervously. “You know, the occasional reconnaissance mission and mostly escorting.”

He didn't want to tell her about the accident, not after so long, not after disappearing like he did.

He avoided the gaze of his companion, who watched his gestures, but didn't decide to add anything. She only nodded.

“I see” a metallic sound made her turn to meet Mint, who was holding his crib in her mouth. “you've already had your dinner.”

The dog stared at her and then Pepper joined him with the leash in his mouth.

“Yes, we’re going in a minute.”

Leon looked at his watch.

“Do you usually take them out at this time?”

Ashley got up and put the harness on them.

“Just get them out to the park, I wait for them at the doorway while they do their things.”

“I'll go with you.”

“You can go to sleep, you must be tired.”

Leon smiled mockingly.

“How quickly you want to get rid of me.” He picked up the dishes and left them in the sink. “You're going to have to put up with me even if you don't want to.”

Ashley laughed.

“Yeah, I forgot how stubborn you are.”

“I learned from the best.”

She turned around dumbfounded, holding back laughter, but trying to look indignant. Leon winked teasingly and escorted her down the stairs.

He had to admit that the dog had saved him. It wasn't that he didn't want to tell Ashley about the accident, but he had asked her father not to tell her anything so as not to worry her, especially when he didn't know he would make it out alive.

He watched the dogs leave for the park and Ashley sat down on the front steps. Leon accompanied her, remaining silent and both watching the canines scampering in the grass.

They said nothing. The evening breeze gently swayed their locks and rustled the thin branches of the trees.

The sound of the leaves hitting each other and the branches brushing against one another made them enter the forest of memories.

For a few seconds the two returned to that village, not to the psychotic chases but to those moments of calm.

After running, after hiding from the gaze of the pack, when, by sheer luck, they found a small shelter and could rest.

At night, crickets could be heard in the distance while an owl hooted in the trees. The branches resounded in the darkness, swaying in the night wind. In those moments they sometimes talked, sometimes not. Sometimes they simply sat side by side trying to keep warm and make sure they were still together. There were times when words would not come out of them out of sheer exhaustion. They remembered some of the worst nights when it was hard for them to see anything positive and nightmares loomed with less shame in their minds. Those nights they would hold hands so they could wake each other up and see that there was someone beside them. The companionship between them in those moments was the only thing that kept them going through that hell.

Leon opened his eyes softly, coming back from that recondite place in his mind. He looked to a distant point and his lips moved intoning a deeper, whispering voice even.

“How have you handled it?”

Ashley knew what he was talking about instantly. How the nightmares, the paranoia, the fear, had gone in those two and a half years…

She looked at the floor for a few seconds and then raised her head again.

“I would be lying if I told you that it was just fine.” she paused, smiling subtly without looking at him. “But I'm better now. I realized that the only thing separating me from getting my life back was myself along with my self-destructive ability. I had help and I got it.”

They both looked at the silhouettes of trees in the distance.

“I heard at the base that Katherine was taking care of you. She's a good person.”

“Yes, but not just her. I've made some new friends in Boston.” This time she turned to look at him with a dazzling smile that stole Leon's breath. “I'd like to introduce them to you one day.”

The agent smiled.

“I'd be delighted, though I can't promise I won't interrogate them.”

She tapped him on the shoulder and stood up. She whistled softly, calling the dogs and they came running.

“You have them very well trained.” the man was surprised.

“Now I do, but if I told you what they put me through, you wouldn't say the same.”

They both watched and the dogs circled around themselves and then ran up the stairs. They walked up to the doors of their respective houses and stopped in front of one another, watching each other for a few seconds.

Ashley sank into those deep blue oceans, just as Leon sank into the woman's amber ones. The soft light coming through the hallway window illuminated their silhouettes and they both felt enveloped by a closeness they hadn't realized they craved so much.

Ashley's mouth curved subtly.

“I'm happy to see you again, Leon.” Those pink lips caressed every word that came from between them and he heard them like musical notes. His irises bore into hers, piercing and intense. Since the first time he saw them, he always found it hard to look away. Leon's lips drew one of his dazzling smiles and he replied in a velvety voice.

“Me too, princess.”

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lilikags · 2 years ago

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QIAN HI ok so um I’m reading the reminiscence marionette story in enstars

Holy shit my brain is so 💥

The fact that most of the first few chapters nazuna never actually talked but it’s like his thoughts and his thoughts are honestly so sad. The part where he’s convinced his voice is too imperfect and will just ruin Shu’s perfection

okay so iirc that's around the time his voice started to change

and yk what happens when boys get their voice change lmao its kinda. yeah

so, like anyone else, especially because his came so late, he's really self-conscious about it. especially because his singing was basically the only way he could prove his own worth imo

and plus iirc he states himself that his singing was refined in the chorus. and which i assume that (along with his stunning good looks) drove shu to (dramatically) invite him to join valkyrie. it was something he prided on and also was praised for before joining ymsk. and also he seemed like some miserable guy before then, and having his chuunibyou era to deal with the loneliness. most probably from his strong desire to express himself freely (wanting to be boyish and curse like the other buys and do rough things) but being forced to be a good kid who stays indoors and read books. and since he does that now a lot i think he's come to accept that kind of lifestyle but is also trying to find and express the self he's been trying to express since he was a kid

I DIGRESS

(cut because i went on)

-- went to reread because got curious about something -- anyways

at that point, nazuna has a lot of respect for shu's style. (puppet show ch 2) he also talks down on the other students a lot and thinks hes better than them. i honestly don't know about how the student body felt at the time before the war to have a proper opinion on what they did, we basically only see the opinion of "they're lazy" as far as i've read.

i digress. again. nazuna has a lot of respect for shu's style; it's perfect art, compared to the things (or the lack of) things the other students did at the time. he thinks it's great, the style itself, and because of his high opinion of shu's style (which later on he blames a lot of his struggles on shu and mika, although he too has a part in it) he does not, on his own will, want to taint it in any way

and the reason why he's so unsure of who he is and who he needs to be is because if he stops being shu's person, then he has nowhere else to go. before he entered ymnsk he probably only realized he wanted to be an idol shortly before applying, maybe a year or so or something. largely an empty life. doing what his parents told him. dissatisfied. then he got to the school. lost. buncha "lazy kids" in his opinion. didn't match up to his expectations. met a hardworking guy, joined his unit, he earned praise and he finally became useful with a concrete goal. but once that little thing shatters, what does he have left?

it's though as in that moment (puppet show ch 3) he realizes just how limited his world is, and has been. if it was larger before, he'd have realized that earlier. and thats when the dissatisfaction truly begins (not that he didn't have doubts before, but thats where he loses himself)

and to add, he's doing this now. he loses himself every so often, he was like that before deciding to become an idol and apply to ymnsk, he tried to become an idol but was disappointed. then he joined valkyrie and became a hardworking idol, like what he wanted. he left valkyrie after all that happened. just like he wanted, he saw a whole new world with ra*bits. future? i think what he wants now is not just a new world of people to rely on and find himself, he wants to find the qualities of the world. not just the life but the qualities. the themes, and i think he'll go through that with the struggles of a whole theme rebrand and everything, then he'll come out a better version of himself. i think that's a big theme with him here

#celestine #heirs.kaze

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toddstool · 2 years ago

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okay back story cuz im sure most of u dont know this but i need to get my thoughts out: I wanted an outdoor garden area for my rabbit to be able to safely play in that also wasn't covered in chicken shit, so my dad fenced off a section of the yard for me to work with. this area was on the side of the house in between the fence and the wall of the house like this:

(aerial view) which was nice but the sun could only get to it around noon for like an hour, the soil was very high in clay, and it's part of the area of the yard that's covered in rocks. I went to work on it before he set the fence up by removing the top layer of rocks, getting rid of the plastic sheet underneath, and trying to till the soil, but that didn't help with the high clay content so growing stuff was unlikely. and whatever did start to grow eventually died because of the lack of sunlight. I spent like a couple years slowly working on it to try to change the soil with my complete lack of resources and i kinda made a difference but not much :/ it's always been hard to start any outdoor project because my dad immediately shuts down any ideas that i have because i want a flourishing garden full of all kinds of untamed plants, while he likes the straight forward grass and rocks suburban stuff 😐 it always frustrated me as a kid but as i get older i realize that he's defensive of his "yard" probably cuz he grew up in rural poverty and having a nice grass yard was a luxury. I just wish he would fuvking liiiStTennn to mmmMmMeeEEE. he won't let me start a compost pile either. and like I try to bring up changing the soil texture by removing some of the clay and adding sand, and then adding organic material to bring the soil to life. but NOoOOoOo. bugs bad, weeds bad, anything not completely controlled and uniform: BAD.

but anyway! the whole reason im bring this up is because, since i haven't been using that area like i said i would (because he won't let me change the fucking soil 😐 like dude what am I gonna do with a mud patch) he decided that we're gonna move the fence line up and then use that area for another shed and more storage. which I agree with. i didn't like that spot because of what i said early but also because that's where a pipe access is. so i had to work around a main water line lol. so i asked if i could have a DIFFERENT area and i think he agreed to that. he said technically that "we'll find you another spot" and i have my fucking spot picked so :>. it's in the right corner of our yard and i already have an idea for my fence and spacing.

im excited cuz it's totally out of the way, it gets good sun, and it's a larger space to work with. its the same ground type as the other spot but if I can guilt trip my dad into helping me I should be able to get it done quickly. I just need help buying and transporting sand bags and also with building the fence. i think i want to completely section it off like from top to bottom with a mesh cloth to help with bugs during the summer when im out there with my rabbit. maybe with a detachable ability so that the plants in there can be pollinated and whatnot. so the ONLY THINGS he would need to do is: help with getting and transporting the material (wood for fence and sand and compost bags), and then helping put the fence together. the terraforming and plants I can do by myself. my birthday is coming up so i think I'll bring this up to him and ask to start it after we get the main yard fence situation all done. cuz i really think this will help with my depression. I've said it before but living in suburbia in a desert is absolutely awful. i can never go outside during growing season. and winter only last a couple months here and is basically just fall for other places. ugh :( i hope he listens. i want my bunny to be able to enjoy going outside before she passes away. and i want a nice garden for myself.

#trix talking

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fawnc0re · 4 months ago

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I believe you're missing crucial information about Morty's character by claiming that the show only shows his self-esteem issues and repressed rage. Yes, those topics are touched on more explicitly than others, but there's a lot more implied trauma for Morty that I feel you're missing. These moments are often subtext or not focused on or in throwaway lines, but they show facets of his character that the focus on Rick has diminished.

First, within the narrative, Morty's trauma is very ignored. What does this mean? This means that characters in the narrative do not acknowledge his trauma or simply outright do not believe it exists. How exactly is this shown? Well, for one, the overall way other characters treat him, especially those within his direct family, are rarely shown to care about what he experiences. This issue is most prominent with Rick, but Beth and Jerry are also very guilty of this as Morty's parents. Morty is forced into violent and traumatizing situations almost every single episode, and no character seems to care about what affect this could have on his mind. Beth is often unconcerned with this, Jerry only shows concern when he feels threatened as the patriarch of the family or to continue his feud with Rick, and Summer and Rick outright make fun of Morty if he voices distaste for what is happening.

Now, it's important to talk about how Morty is heavily implied to have been severely neglected (at least emotionally), during his childhood. and it's canon that this behavior continues to this day. The very first clue we have is mentioned within the first episode; Morty's poor attendance, his low grades, his unaddressed mental disability, and his very present anxiety. Both Beth and Jerry failed as parents to address the clear issues with Morty's schooling early on; while it's harder to blame them for the attendance because it was ultimately Rick who manipulated the school into not informing them, it does speak to a larger issue of them being uninvolved with their son. For one, why would they ever allow Rick, a drunk who only recently reentered their family after a twenty-year absence, to pull their child out of school? Why are they unaware of their child that they don't notice the failing attendance? Why are they only now addressing his grades, seemingly a prevalent issue with Morty? Why do they not actually address the disability they clearly know he has? Why do they not care about his anxiety? The answer is, they ultimately don't care as much as they should.

In the first episode, Morty is literally so exhausted that he falls asleep at the table. He literally faceplants. And yet, Beth's reaction is meek. She doesn't actually dig into the issue as much as she should, and when Summer gives an answer ("Or maybe you were out all night again with Grandpa Rick.") Beth mostly ignores it. She buys Rick's spiel about school being useless and lets him off the hook. Even when she does ask him, she only gives a raised brow, and her tone is soft and unassuming. We know exactly how Beth sounds when she's anger or actually trying to get answers. Her approach here is appeasing; she doesn't want to anger Rick with her questions. She yells at Jerry when he gets reasonably angry. Rick easily sways her with compliments and gets away with his terrible treatment of her son. When Morty faints again, she has literally no reaction.

While Jerry is shown to be the parent who is more concerned about their son, his seems more connected to his dislike of Rick than anything. Quotes from the first episode: Principal Vagina: The fact is, your son, Morty, has attended this school for a total of seven hours over the last two months. Beth: What? Why didn't you notify us? Principal Vagina: I done been notifying you. Have you not been getting the messages I've been leaving with Morty's grandfather? Jerry: Boom! Told you! In your face! He is ruining our child! Wait, what am I celebrating?

One, Beth and Jerry missing the fact that Morty has attended only seven hours of school speaks poorly of their quality as parents. Why are they so uninvolved that they don't know where their son is every day? Again, why is Rick allowed to pick Morty up from school? And, Morty has homework. We see him doing it sometimes, he's mentioned it several times, and we know he's still in the same school year currently, so he is assigned homework, which his parents should've been asking him about. Especially if they have a son who preforms poorly in school; they should be helping him as much as they can, or trying to get him help through the school. Most school's offer tutoring programs within them. And then, Jerry's reaction; why is his first reaction to gloat? He knows that Rick has been taking Morty to places so often that not only is he missing enough sleep to pass out, but enough to make him miss almost an entire quarter of school. Jerry should be furious, not gloating in his wife's face. Why is this his first reaction? Morty: Dad, mom, come on. Rick just needed my help is all. Jerry: Morty, stay out of this. You are obviously not capable of judging these situations on your own. Rick: What are you trying to say about Morty? That he's stupid or something?Beth: Oh, don't high-road us, dad. You know fully well that Morty is the last child that needs to be missing classes. Rick: I-I-I don't know what you mean by that. Can can can you be a little bit more specific? Jerry: Oh, for crying out—he's got some kind of disability or something. Is that what you want us to say? Morty: I do?

Jerry is completely right. Morty is not capable of judging these situations on his own, because he is fourteen. It is his parents job to judge the situations Morty is in, especially when it comes to an adult that has constant access to Morty. And clearly, they have been failing, if Rick is able to take Morty out of school likely every single day and at night. And then Beth and Jerry both outright acknowledge Morty's disability! And prove they have done nothing to deal with it. This is possibly the second most overt sign of neglect within the series. And, again, the way both acknowledge it is terrible. It's as something to use against Rick. Neither care enough to acknowledge how their son struggles to help him, but they will acknowledge it to one-up someone.

A less severe example but an important one is "Anatomy Park." Right after shrinking Morty, Beth walks in the garage and asks where her son is, and seemingly accepts Rick's answer of "he's busy" with no prying, especially considering Beth just saw Rick asking for Morty. And Jacob's comment when it's revealed Summer has a boyfriend, I feel, is also an important clue into their family dynamics ("Jerry, no disrespect, but you really need to connect more with your family, man.") Overall, Beth and Jerry are shown to not care about their children or be as involved as they should.

At the end of "Rick Potion #9" we have the infamous scene where Morty is heavily dissociating, due to the trauma of seeing and burying his own body. No one notices, least of all his parents, who are too busy arguing with each other to notice their son. And the Beth and Jerry left behind literally agree that they're happier without their son.

Season two has less examples of this. (I mostly didn't want to spend four hours scouring episodes for tidbits.)

However, season three, where Beth is arguably the worst as a mother, is a goldmine for moments like this. First, her complete lack of care for Morty's clear negative reaction to the divorce. She looks directly at her dejected son, knowing exactly how it feels to not have a parent present in your life, and moves on. I couldn't get a screencap, but she literally touches Morty's face, says she'll leave them to their adventures, and leaves.

Season three also contains the episodes "Pickle Rick" and "Rest and Ricklaxation" which are very good places to look to understand Morty and to get a peek into what was likely his childhood.

In "Pickle Rick", Morty is being sent to family therapy by his school because he has been "desk wetting". What he's specifically experiencing is something called diurnal enuresis or urinary incontinence. This is something that can be caused by a lot of physical issues, but it can also be caused by emotional issues; namely stress, anxiety, depression, and PTSD. Considering Morty has struggled for a long time with anxiety, and the stress of his parents' recent divorce, it's not difficult to surmise that this is caused by said stress. And Beth refers to this issue as a "discipline case," out of all things. She completely overlooks the underlying reasons that Morty's might be experiencing these issues, namely, the sudden divorce she had with Jerry and his time being taken up by his abusive grandfather.

During the therapy session, she's aggressive and testy; almost everything her kids or Dr. Wong say is met with anger. Morty question Rick's reasoning for turning himself into a pickle gets him snapped at. During the start of the session, this dialogue is shared:

Dr. Wong: I was told there was a grandpa that might be joining us? Beth: He got wrapped up in an experiment. He's a scientist. Like, legit, like on an inter-galactic, sci-fi level. His work is very -- Morty: He turned himself into a pickle. Beth: Morty, Mom's talking. I'm sorry, I suppose that's a good segue into our little discipline cases here. Dr. Wong: Does Grandpa turn himself into a pickle a lot? Beth: What? No, what kind of question is that? Dr. Wong: The kind that wasn't designed to attack or hurt you in any way. Beth: Oh, Jesus Christ, one of these. No, my father has never turned himself into a pickle before. He's unpredictable and eccentric. The whole family is. Speaking of which... Dr. Wong: Okay, let's open things up to the whole family, and let me ask this. Why do we think Grandpa turned himself into a pickle?

Morty isn't out of place to state the truth: Rick did turn himself into a pickle. In a family therapy session, which Rick agreed to attend, this information was right to share, especially when it allows Wong to understand the horrible dynamic within the family. Beth's response "Morty, Mom's talking" is honestly aggravating; to me, this reads as Beth refusing to acknowledge what Rick did, because internally she knows exactly why he turned himself into a pickle (it's also just a terrible way to respond; this is a therapy session for Morty and Summer. They should be allowed to speak.) Even her response to Dr. Wong feels very defensive, and she constantly tries to turn the conversation away from Rick, even though anyone with two braincells would be well aware he's the one causing the most damage to the family. Even more dialogue proves that Beth isn't as oblivious to Rick's intentions as previous seasons:

Beth: I didn't say my father is perfect, I said his work is important. Summer: And she's saying what's important is that Grandpa lied to you to get out of coming here. Beth: Oh, he did not!

In this scene, she literally jerks forward, enough to startle her children into jumping back. Her voice is angry; she's aggressive and defensive. The conversation doesn't get any better:

Beth: Do you really not see what's happening here? Dr. Wong: Tell me. Beth: Well, Dr. Wong -- by the way, racist name -- obviously, Morty and Summer are seizing on your arbitrary pickle obsession as an end run around what was supposed to be their therapy. Dr. Wong: Oh, I think this pickle incident is a better path than any other to the heart of your family's dysfunction. I think it's possible that you and your father have a very specific dynamic. I don't think it's one that rewards emotion or vulnerability. I think it may punish them. I think it's possible that dynamic eroded your marriage, and is infecting your kids with a tendency to misdirect their feelings. [A short pause] Beth: Fuck you. Morty and Summer, in unison: Mom! Beth: Fuck both of you, too.

Dr. Wong says it perfectly; the "pickle incident" is a huge clue to why the family is so dysfunctional. Rick's attitude to emotions and being vulnerable is clear; he doesn't allow himself to be truly vulnerable because of how emotions have been used against him in the past, and he's made that the standard to live up to. To be considered worthy in Rick's eyes, you must be hardened and jaded. Both Summer and Beth, two people who admire Rick, take on these traits as the series progresses. Morty forcibly takes on these traits; rather than doing it to be someone Rick admires, Morty becomes like this over the series as a means for survival. He's seen the worst of Rick, he knows what happens if Rick wants to hurt you. He constantly makes fun of Morty for having morals, for having anxiety, for his disability, for just about anything he can. And it's true that Rick punishes emotions and that Beth desperately wants to be someone Rick loves, and the only way she knows how to do that is to be like him. Jerry is very much driven by emotions, like Morty. It's not hard too guess that Beth, in trying to be like her father, became unable to connect with Jerry. And it's not hard to believe that Beth divorced Jerry to impress her father, and it's not hard to believe that in her desire to be loved, she neglected her children more than she already was. When this is pointed out to her, she does exactly what Rick would do: she lashes out. She lashes out at the therapist and her children. She even continues to act cruelly throughout the session;

Dr. Wong: What do you think is in the syringe, Beth? Beth: You're the one that costs $200 an hour. You tell me. Morty and Summer: Anti-pickle serum. Dr. Wong: Your kids think it might be anti-pickle serum. Beth: My kids pee their desks and suck on unbaked vases.

She's ridiculing her children for having issues. While it might be more justifiable in Summer's case, considering she's making a conscious choice to huff pottery enamel, Morty's issues are out of his control entirely and the judgement he's facing is rather unfair. She's not using it to bring issues to light or to find a solution, she's doing specifically to bring the focus off herself, and therefore bring the focus off her father. I find this method rather saddening, because the way she's shaming her children will make them struggle to connect with her later in life and likely make it harder for them to connect with others. The conversations continues:

Dr. Wong: It's not my job to take sides or pass judgment. Do you think when your father asks for that syringe, you could ask him -- Beth: He won't have to ask for it, okay? He won't need it. He'll just make more. He doesn't need anything from anyone. Dr. Wong: You admire him for that. Beth: It's better than making your problems other people's problems.

This is a rather funny response, considering she's making her unhealthy worship of her father her entire family's problem. But this points out another issue: Rick also makes extreme independence something he values, both in himself and in the people he's with. Beth internalizes this into an uncaring attitude, hoping to not come off as needy; she also does this in the beginning of the episode:

Summer: Can't you just turn yourself back into a human? Pickle Rick: Great question, Summer. The unfortunate answer is I did this to challenge myself. And it could take hours or even days before I'm able to figure out how to return to human form. But, I mean, you know, your mom could put me in a purse or a pocket, you know, if she really needs me to go. Beth: Nobody needs anything! Okay, it's fine. I mean, you should just stay here and figure out how to stop being a pickle, okay?

Rick constantly uses this kind of subtle language to manipulate Beth; he's aware of the pressure he puts on her, and frankly has little care about how it hurts her in early seasons. He uses the word "need" specifically to trigger her; he has made clinginess something he dislike and doesn't value, he subtly makes his judgement the one that holds the highest value, and then he implies that she might need him, and she instantly denies it because she's terrified of being clingy.

Dr. Wong: You must be Rick. Pickle Rick: Mm-hmm. Dr. Wong: I've heard a lot about you today. Your family is crazy about you. Your daughter holds you in very high regard. You're a lucky fella. Pickle Rick: Yeah, thank you. Uh, sweetie, you don't still happen to have that syringe in your purse? Beth: Dad, I would like you to tell me what's in the syringe. Pickle Rick: It's a serum that I need to, uh, to stay alive. I have had a rough day. And, uh, I've sustained a lot of damage. I'm pretty close to death, which the serum will prevent. Dr. Wong: By changing you from a pickle to a human. Pickle Rick: Yes.

Rick clings onto his lie until he's directly called out; while he wasn't technically lying to Beth, he was excluding information purposefully to keep his lie going as long as possible (technically a lie of omission.) Dr. Wong, however, won't allow him to; she forces him to state explicitly what a serum will do. But, had she not, he would have continued to lie.

And now, to the most famous exchange of the episode:

Dr. Wong: Rick, why did you lie to your daughter? Pickle Rick: So I wouldn't have to come here. Dr. Wong: Why didn't you want to come here? Pickle Rick: Because I don't respect therapy, because I'm a scientist. Because I invent, transform, create, and destroy for a living, and when I don't like something about the world, I change it. And I don't think going to a rented office in a strip mall to listen to some agent of averageness explain which words mean which feelings has ever helped anyone do anything. I think it's helped a lot of people get comfortable and stop panicking, which is a state of mind we value in the animals we eat, but not something I want for myself. I'm not a cow. I'm a pickle. When I feel like it. So...you asked. Dr. Wong: Rick, the only connection between your unquestionable intelligence and the sickness destroying your family is that everyone in your family, you included, use intelligence to justify sickness. You seem to alternate between viewing your own mind as an unstoppable force and as an inescapable curse. And I think it's because the only truly unapproachable concept for you is that it's your mind within your control. You chose to come here, you chose to talk -to belittle my vocation- just as you chose to become a pickle. You are the master of your universe, and yet you are dripping with rat blood and feces. Your enormous mind literally vegetating by your own hand. I have no doubt that you would be bored senseless by therapy, the same way I'm bored when I brush my teeth and wipe my ass. Because the thing about repairing, maintaining, and cleaning is it's not an adventure. There's no way to do it so wrong you might die. It's just work. And the bottom line is, some people are okay going to work, and some people well, some people would rather die. Each of us gets to choose.

Dr. Wong got this spot-on; Rick does view his intelligence as a curse he cannot escape but also a force that no one can stop. He does use his intelligence to justify the terrible things he does; he claims that nothing matters and therefore the solution is "don't think about it" and to do whatever you want. That's why he destroys universes without a second thought, genocides planets because his grandson won't hang out with him, and lies to his daughter. He doesn't think it matters. He places himself higher above literally everyone but also hates himself. It makes sense that Rick hates the concept of his own mind being within his control, because his intelligence is arguably the trait that has hurt him and the people around him the most.

This episode is arguably one of the biggest deep-dives into Rick's psychology. And through this, we understand exactly why and how he mistreats people around him. This is the most clear the show has been about Rick views himself and the universe, because it's not clouded by his own contradicting bias.

The next episode is an amazing look into Morty, especially when you look at him through the angle of a neglected child.

Toxic Morty is introduced to us when he is lying on the ground in the toxic world; when Toxic Rick pulls him out of the mud he's trapped in, he asks what happened, only to be met with this:

Toxic Morty: Ugh! What Happened? Toxic Rick : We blew up, idiot! Are you really that stupid? Obviously the guy I yelled at overloaded the machine. It takes more than that to kill Rick and Morty, motherfucker!

During this scene, Toxic Morty is hunched over and looks terrified; he noticeably flinches when Toxic Rick yells at him. He's absolutely terrified of Rick but listens to him completely. This is absolutely meant to present a moral conflict Morty constantly goes through in the series; caught between what he feels is right and what Rick wants. He wants to do the right thing but also he's scared of Rick and submissive. The interaction continues as;

Toxic Morty: E-Everything hurts! Toxic Rick: That’s because you’re worthless! Jesus, how big was this explosion? I’m a genius. I don’t have time for this shit. Toxic Morty: W-W-We’re in Hell, aren’t we, Rick? Toxic Rick: You’re so stupid, Morty. You’re an idiot. There’s no such thing as Hell. Toxic Morty: I believe you, but I just want to die. Toxic Rick: You can die when I say so. I control you. I control the universe! Why am I bragging about that? I have nothing to prove. I’m surrounded by inferior pieces of shit and – Toxic Rick: Toxins. We’re not in Hell, Morty. We’re in the detoxifier. The machine didn’t blow up. It worked normally. It removed our toxins. We’re the toxins. Toxic Morty: Aaaaaaaahhhhhhh! Toxic Rick: Are you listening, you stupid little garbage person?! We're what got removed!

This is a very specific scene; Toxic Morty accepts insults easily, openly admits to suicidal thoughts, and again, is completely submissive to Rick. He allows Rick to drag him around, grab his face, yell at him, and be as egotistical as he wants, when Morty would sometimes point out when Rick is being conceited. Remember, everything about Toxic Morty is something Morty hates; his submissiveness and his morals are something he wants removed, likely because he thinks, due to Rick's abuse, that those are "good" traits.

It's hard to go over all the traits Morty displays during this episode, but here are more examples;

Toxic Rick: Yeah, motherfucker! Yeah! Get it! Get some! Right up your fucking bitch ass, you fuck! Guess who just discovered a new element?! You think you could do that, Morty? You think anyone but me could do that ever in a billion years? Do you think if God existed he could do it? The answer is no. If God exists, it’s fucking me! Toxic Morty: Yes, Rick. I-I agree, Rick. Toxic Rick: While you were flapping your parasitic turd holster, I discovered the toxic equivalent of electricity, Morty. What do you think about that? Toxic Morty: Uh I th-I think my voice is annoying. Toxic Rick: It is, and it’s your best quality. Toxic Morty: (Sad) So true.

Morty: It’s a bad phone. Chuck it. I downgraded to a clamshell for emergencies only. You know, if if if something’s worth saying, I-it’s worth eye contact. Rick: Uh, I-I-I traced the source of the call back to the spa we went to, Morty. I thought I could hear a voice in there, so I enhanced it, a-and listen. Toxic Rick: Hey, asshole! Toxic Morty: Oh, man! Toxic Rick: Remember us? Toxic Morty: Oh, I don’t like confrontation! Toxic Rick: You fucked us, you pieces of garbage! That’s right, you’re fucking garbage, not us. I’m a fucking genius and a god. You really think this thing can hold me? I’m gonna rip your throat...

Toxic Rick: Because we’re coming home, bitch! Morty: What is this? Toxic Rick: This is the parts of your pussy grandpa that keep it real. Oh oh, and I think you dropped something, too! Toxic Morty: I don’t want to be on camera. I’m ugly and gross, please.

This is basically repeating myself by this point, but Morty is completely allowing himself to be verbally berated by Rick. He accepts the insults and even adds in his own self-deprecation. And there's a contradiction in his behavior; Toxic Morty holds things like morals and consciousness, which are decidedly absent in Healthy Morty. He lacks empathy and doesn't actually connect with people other than surface-level connections. I'm trying to find the analysis I stumbled on a while ago, which mentioned that Detox Morty is extremely shallow; he talks over people (Jessica), seems to have little care (the two girls he's with throughout the episode), and so on. But, while Toxic Morty holds empathy and morals, he doesn't display any of them throughout the episode because he's completely submissive to Rick. It's Morty fighting between two parts of himself; the part that's more in-tune with his inherent kindness and empathy, and the part that's been made vulnerable to people like Rick through the neglect of his parents.

Toxic Morty continues the episode much in this same way; making degrading comments about himself, claiming that everyone hates him, he's clearly scared of Rick but also attached to him at the hip, his anxiety is worse than ever, even worse than it was in season one.

The dichotomy between the healthy and toxic versions of themselves show the same issues; they're both shallow and detached, neither have any qualms with cruelty, and both hate the toxic versions of themselves. They both say things they don't mean ("Hey, here’s something no science could measure. I’m real proud to be your grandpa, Morty." "World’s Greatest Grandpa, for reals. It’s not just a coffee cup for you, bud. You’re legit.") We know that Healthy Rick doesn't love Morty and feels no attachment to him. He doesn't care, he's just saying things. And we also know that Detox Morty is borderline a sociopath and cares for nothing but himself, and what's more is that his line of dialogue came right after he subtly threatened Rick.

This is important to understand; both Rick and Morty view attachments as something toxic that they need to be purged of. Rick wants to leave behind his "irrational attachments" which are shown explicitly to mean his attachment to Morty. Morty wants to let go of the parts of himself that are easily swayed by others, but goes a step further to remove all the parts of himself that care about anyone. I believe he does this because everyone he has loved has hurt him severely; Summer and Jerry are arguably the least guilty of this, but Beth and Rick on the other hand? Especially Rick; the same man who was Morty's first friend has constantly pushed him to the brink of doing something drastic. And because, to Rick, attachments are irrational, a lesson he has been drilling into Morty since the start of the series.

And, of course, we have meta (outside sources, such as the creators) reasons to believe that Morty and Summer are neglected. In the episode "A Rickconvient Mort", writer Rob Schrab explained that this episode subverted expectations by changing Beth's role of an unloving mother to one who cares about her children. That's why she makes comments on things such as Planetina's maturity, talks about Morty's age, points out directly that this relationship is extremely inappropriate. However, other actions during this episode perpetuate the fact that Beth and Jerry are neglectful parents. Neither of them seem to reprimand Rick for calling Morty a "piece of shit" over Summer's overreaction to things. Neither react when Rick decides to take Summer on planets that are in the process of being destroyed, for some sex party no less, until Jerry suddenly has the need to give his approval. And neither have truly protective reactions to the relationship between Morty and Planetina, and when Morty leaves to go see said girl in the middle of a forest fire, Jerry doesn't care. To give Beth credit, she's a much better mother than she usually is, but that isn't a high bar to cross. And, instead of trying to wrangle either of her children, she goes to drink.

You mentioned earlier that you feel the show only shows Morty's self-esteem issues and his repressed rage. I ask you: have you considered the reasons why he suffers from these issues?

It's not just Rick's abuse.

It's because he was neglected. It's because he is still neglected. His dialogue after Planetina leaves the house is especially heartbreaking:

Morty: All my life, I've never fit anywhere! Everything I have to say is always met with an eyeroll, as if the act of hearing what I have to say is some exhausting chore. Nobody in this family thinks I can say or do anything right! I've been all over the universe, met hundreds of people, and Planetina's the only one I ever met that makes me feel like I belong, and you just kicked her out of our house! Beth: Morty, please-- Morty: I will never forgive you for this!

Beth's reaction isn't anger. It's shock, at first, but then she looks sad. I feel like her expression is actually guilty, because she probably knows exactly what Morty is talking about. What's more, this scene is portrayed more seriously than others; the music in the background adds to the atmosphere that Morty is spilling heavy emotions he's been bottling up. The words he uses are raw and cutting, and as much as I avoid this episode due to the uncomfortable relationships it centers around, I go back and watch this scene. I don't believe the show would put so much effort into this scene for it to just be an angsty teen monologue, especially with the language used and the voice direction. I believe this is meant to give us a look into the childhood Morty had, and his home life into his teen years.

Morty's actions are deeply reflective of someone who hasn't been cared for as much as he should've been during his childhood. His early season vulnerability to Rick isn't just something a person has. If Morty had been adequately cared for in his childhood, he wouldn't allow Rick to treat him how he does, he would openly tell his parents. But he doesn't. He stays by Rick's side, despite the physical, emotional, psychological, and verbal abuse, despite the traumatizing things Rick forces him to do or witness. Rick drunkenly kidnaps Morty in the middle of the night and operates a ship flying miles in the sky, he forces Morty to shove seeds up his ass and kill people, he holds a knife to Morty's throat in the middle of the night while drunk and passes out, and Morty doesn't tell his parents. An adult in his life is forcing Morty into inappropriate situations, openly threatening him, and yet Morty doesn't tell his parents.

(If I continue, we'll be here all day. Just know that other examples are in; "Rickmacing the Stone" ""Edge of Tomorty: Rick Die Rickpeat" "Rattlestar Ricklactica" "The Vat of Acid Episode" "Childrick of Mort" "Forgetting Sarick Mortshall" "Rickmurai Jack" "Ricktional Mortpoon's Rickmas Mortcation" "The Jerrick Trap")

Another important part of Morty's character to acknowledge is that he, Beth, and Rick are all meant to represent generational abuse. While you might think, "Isn't the whole family about this?" and yes, Rick's abuse is something all family members face, the show explicitly draws a thread between Rick, Beth, and Morty.

The easiest place to start is Beth.

Throughout the series, all Beths we see (with the exception of Space Beth) crave their father's attention after being abandoned by him at age fourteen. As I mentioned before, Beth often speaks softly with her father, even when she should be angry, at least in the first and second season. She's easily swayed by subtle or even outright manipulation by Rick; remember the conversation at the start of the first episode? Not only does she not properly confront Rick over a serious issue (taking her son out in the middle of the night without her consent or knowledge), a simple comment by him ("This was a good breakfast, Beth. You really made the crap out of those eggs. I wish your mother was here to eat them.") is enough to distract her from the issue, while Jerry is flabbergasted. In the season two finale, Beth says outright "Because I don't want him to leave again, you dumb asshole!" while crying. During this entire episode, she expresses jealousy to people who know her father better than she does. In "The Rickshank Rickdemption" Beth is drunk for the scene she shows up in, and gets angry when Summer so much as mentions Rick. She slams the table and shouts! At the end of the episode, this happens:

Beth: Jerry, what the hell is happening?! Jerry: The galactic government collapsed. Beth: Are you okay? Jerry: Look, I-I'm not proud to share this, but the truth is, I just kept crawling, and it kept working. Oh, I'm glad you're okay. Are we ever going to stop paying for indulging your father? Our children, our planet, our jobs? Is there anything left to lose? Beth: Just each other, and I'll never let you go. And I'm so sorry I ever did this to us. Rick: Guess who dismantled the government? Beth: Please don't leave me again. Rick: I never will, baby.

Beth's children have been missing for hours, her husband almost got killed while fleeing open gunfire that followed him for miles, and only a few months ago her father abandoned her and her family on a planet that they could not have survived on. She's stricken by Rick's actions, unable to hear his name, and drinking heavily. She says she'll never let go of Jerry, and that she's sorry for the damage she allowed Rick to do to the family, and yet, the second he appears again, she runs to him and begs him not to leave. And the exchange continues:

Rick: Jerry, is there any light beer left? It's insane what you miss in prison. Jerry: Um... okay. No. No, no, no. Foot down time. Rick: No, you're right. Where's the vodka? Jerry: Beth, it's him or me!

To be clear, this is a shitty move on Jerry's part. Forcing his wife, who is struggling to cope with her absent father and his inconsistency in her life, to choose, is shitty. However, remember everything Rick has caused thus far. Remember how Beth just said she would never indulge her father again and that she would never let Jerry go. But then, she instantly goes back to her father.

Beth: Jerry's going to spend some time divorced. Rick: Oh, I-I'm sorry to hear that, sweetie. I hope I had nothing to do with that. Beth: Oh, God, Dad, that is not your burden to bear. I feel terrible that I misjudged you. This is gonna be good for Jerry. Rick: For everybody. Beth: For everybody.

Rick is manipulating Beth right now. He's doing the same thing he always does; uses subtle language to control how a person reacts to something. Him saying he hopes the divorce isn't because of him makes Beth feel guilty, and she jumps to reassure him that he didn't do anything wrong, despite the fact that Rick has been subtly trying to destroy their marriage since the start of the series. When Beth says the divorce will be good for Jerry, Rick extends it to everyone, to convince Beth that she's doing the right thing.

During most of season three, Beth is constantly trying to live up to Rick's standards. In "Rickmancing the Stone" she takes a Rick-like attitude to Jerry in the intro. And, after she runs into Rick alone in the garage, they have this exchange:

Beth: Where are the kids? Rick: Oh, th-they aren't with you? I thought they were with you. Oh, y-you know what? Uh, I just remembered. They're out doing something completely ordinary and kid-related. Don't panic. Beth: Not panicked. At all. Just... oh, God, what's the divorce doing to the kids? What's it doing to me? Did I make a mistake? Rick: Not a mistake, no! I mean, not that I have a horse in this race, but this divorce decision listen, mwah! Good for you, good for the kids. I mean, honestly, I think that they're flourishing. I mean, you'll see, when you see them, that that they're totally flourishing.

Beth's tone during this exchange, at first, is oddly stilted. She insists that she isn't panicked at all, in an effort to appear relaxed and detached like Rick is. After Rick insists that Morty and Summer are flourishing, we instantly switch to Morty killing people in the blood dome, to prove that he is not handling the divorce well.

In "The Whirly Dirly Conspiracy" Beth consistently refuses to call Rick for help operating a machine, instead insisting that she and Morty can figure it out. When Morty tries to call Rick, she literally slaps the phone out of his hand and says "Morty, I need this," desperately. This proves her behavior thus far has been to impress Rick. She's been hurting and neglecting her children all to impress her terrible father.

This is where you can slowly piece together the idea that Rick, Beth, and Morty are meant to be representation of generational abuse. This is intentional, by the writers.

Rick's abandonment of Beth at age fourteen left her yearning for a father in her life. Then, he returns, twenty years later, and takes a special interest in her son, who is suspiciously the exact same age she was when she was abandoned. Rick abuses his daughter's desire for him to stay, and uses it to control the family, and to get away with how he abuses her son. Beth actively ignores the harm he does to her family to make him stay.

Rick places himself as the one who has all the answers. He insults the intelligence of Jerry and Morty, and spends as much time as he can making his opinions of the universe the standard that all must following, using his status as the smartest man in the universe. He discourages genuine connections and emotional vulnerability, and Beth desperately takes on these traits, and in turn, so do her children.

Morty and Beth are direct reflections of each other. It's why they've changed so much during the series. Rick influences Beth, and in turn she does nothing to stop his influence of Morty, and even contributes to it, whether she meant to or not. She enables Rick's abuse fully. She neglects her child, making him anxious and struggling to openly express emotions that are deemed "unworthy", like vulnerability.

It's no surprise that it's taken Morty seven seasons to face the fear that Rick placed in him.

Morty's trauma isn't ignored by the overall narrative, the characters around him simply refuse to acknowledge it, as does Morty himself.

And, to be clear, the heavy focus on Rick isn't actually something that's been happening in the entire show. It's specifically season seven that keeps the spotlight away from Morty... until the season finale, that is. An episode which spends it's entire runtime exploring Morty's trauma. It's no coincidence that we just opened a huge can of worms relating to Morty right at the end, in such a horrifying way. I firmly believe that season eight will feature a heavier focus on Morty, because that simply makes sense narratively.

The focus on Rick was essential this season for the arc I believe they're setting up for Morty.

And, lastly, the narrative is not scared of making Rick unsympathetic. Do you really think Rick was meant to be sympathetic in episodes like "The Vat of Acid Episode" or "One Crew Over the Crewcoo's Morty" or "Rattlestar Ricklactica" or "That's Amorte" or "Look Who's Purging Now" just to name a few examples? The writers are not scared to paint Rick as a piece of shit, because that's the direction the show has always gone with. They've always taken the message that no matter Rick's past, his abuse is not justified. The show has shown us Rick at his best and his worst. Don't forget how often the show calls Rick out on his bullshit.

TL;DR: Morty's trauma is within the show, but a good bit of it involves digging into his implied childhood. His neglect made him vulnerable to abuse by Rick's hand and the neglect only continues, and his parents enable his abuse completely.

Sorry this is so long! But this topic is extremely important to me.

This is something that's been bothering me for a while so I'm gonna post a rant about it. So male abuse victims aren't really shown in the media, I can only think of like 2 that were shown well, which is Hunter from the Owl House and Bojack Horseman from, well, Bojack Horseman. Now I don't watch a lot of TV, but that's still a little in comparison to the female abuse victims I know that were portrayed well. Diane, Adora, Amity (You could agrue that her parents aren't abusive but they do seem emotionally neglectful and that is a form of abuse sooo) Etc., etc., you get the point.

And now we've got Morty, a male abuse victim, and the show just completely ignores his trauma! And it makes me upset! They have this golden opportunity to show a male abuse victim and the effects the abuse has on him, especially since we already see the low self image he has curtesy of Rick, and that he has repressed rage towards Rick, but that's just about all we get. We never see anything more. And it's upsetting, ik the show isn't over yet, they still have 3 more seasons, but I'm just starting to worry. While I love Morty as is, he has so much untapped potential that, if it was unleashed, it would make me love him even more. I just really hope they use Morty more, but I'm scared that they won't explore his trauma because (Credits to @hazelnut-u-out for pointing this out) it would make Rick less sympathetic, since it would be hard to sympathize with an abuser with the effects of their victims being shown, although I would agree Rick could still remain sympathetic since Bojack is sympathetic to many people despite the effects of his horrible actions being shown, I don't sympathize with him but that's for personal reasons.

I just really hope they care less about making Rick sympathetic and more about giving Morty the attention that he deserves and giving our boy justice. What do y'all think?

#character analysis #rick and morty

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sugamamacustard · 4 years ago

Text

Feed Me

Pairing: Alpha! Keiji Akaashi X Omega! Reader, Alpha! Wakatoshi Ushijima x Omega! Reader, Alpha! Rintaro Suna x Omega! Reader

Genre: Fluff

Request: Ooooo what about when Alphas 🐘 ( maybe akaashi, ushijima, rin and kuroo) find out that their omega has not been eating enough like (their only eating little things like granola bars or fruit) so their upset that they had to find out through someone else and they scold them for that but then their told that they have gain some weight and that gets them even more upset because they think their perfect etc.

Summary: Some times, people do things because it’s what they think is best. You don’t tell your alpha about some weight gain you’ve noticed, and try taking care of it yourself because of this.

Author’s Note: Hey, you. Yeah you. The beautiful person reading this? You are perfect. You are worth it. Your feelings are valid and you shouldn’t feel bad about having them. You are so amazing, and even if I don’t know you, I am so proud of you. You are so strong for making it so far. Keep going. Never change. :) Also your nice comments? Literally my dose of serotonin

did I mention my OC one or twice? Yes. Am I sorry? No. Also, idk if anyone is curious, but Yuka doesn't actually go to Shiritorizawa but whatever.

Requests: Closed!

Buy me a coffee?

Trigger Warning: Mentions of (Semi?) Starvation.

Keiji Akaashi

➵Now, Keiji is pretty on top of omega and significant other care.

➵ Like, weirdly so. It's honestly kind of creepy?

➵ In an endearing way.

➵ He always says 'Bokuto-Kun prepared me in a way.'

➵ Honestly, he loves doing this for you too!

➵He loves caring for you so much.

➵ Like I firmly believe Akaashi's love language is acts of service.

➵ So things like bringing you food, leaving sweet notes in your locker, helping you with your homework.

➵ He lives for doing these things.

➵ Especially feeding you snacks and things.

➵ It made his inner alpha purr because that meant he was caring for you. Providing for you.

➵ Being the very thing that made him worthy of an alpha.

➵ Prove that he could continue being the alpha you needed and wanted.

➵ Unfortunately, there were downsides.

➵ Your hips had the beginnings of small love handles, a little more chub on you tummy, thighs a little squishier.

➵ Let's not lie, Keiji absolutely adored this, by the way.

➵ I also think one of his biggest kinks is praise

➵ He makes sure you know how loved and how perfect you are.

➵ It's sometimes hard to believe him though.

___

"Y/N?"

You hummed an acknowledgment at Keiji's call, typing the final words to your essay before turning to look at your beautiful alpha- Sometimes you questioned how you hooked him. His gorgeous emerald eyes shining with love and adoration.

"I'm gonna go run and pick up some supper, what would you like beloved?" He came up to squeeze and massage your shoulders, leaning down as he pressed a small peck to your temple, your purr a sweet melody to his ears.

You swallowed behind your purr, trying to hide the small panic in your eyes. Your mind instantly flashed to your reflection this morning, how you pinched your hips with a frown. You already had been slowing down on the snacks, and fast food made you shiver.

"I-I'm okay for now, Keiji. Thank you though." You smiled, nonetheless, holding Keiji's cheek in your hand. He quirked a brow, frowning slightly before nodding lowly. Another peck was pressed to your cheek before he left, ordering your favorite from the diner he took you to for your first date.

"Beloved, I'm back." Keiji called, once more tearing you away from your essay; you were always thankful for the distraction though. He set down the take out bag, taking out the top box and handing it to you before shrugging off his jacket.

"Keiji? I said I was okay-"

"I didn't believe you. Now come on, you need to take a break and I'm touch starved." The raven didn't even look behind at you before pulling out his own box, dragging your rolley-chair to the bed. He pulled his sweater over his head, handing that to you as well before giving you a sweet peck.

His eyes locked with yours. Your breath hitched. So many silent words swam in his eyes, asking you, demanding you, to tell you what was wrong.

"I just- I've gained a little weight lately and-"

"And? My love, you are just as gorgeous as the day I met you. Nothing is wrong with a little weight, even if I think you're foolish to think you've gained weight. Never think otherwise. Even if you do, let me know, my job as your alpha and boyfriend is to make sure you feel as good as possible no matter what."

He slipped the sweater over your head, rehanding you your meal that he took from you momentarily, running a hand through your hair.

"Your my beautiful omega. Nothing should keep you from your happiness."

Wakatoshi Ushijima

➵Unlike Akaashi, Wakatoshi is little more...Hesitant (In a way) when it comes to omegan care.

➵ He never really learned how to? Ya know?

➵ Both his parents were alphas, and he was never around omegas consistently enough to learn.

➵and it's not like you were a volleyball that he could use the same techniques to up-keep.

➵ He also couldn't ask his team.

➵ Well, he could, but only one other person on his team had an omega. (It was Satori and his advice, though helpful, could only go so far.)

➵ He was doing good though, especially with you holding his hand through the entire thing.

➵ The first time he noticed something was up was when you didn't show up to lunch-- texting him a picture of you in the library, tongue poking out as you held up a peace sign to assure him you were okay.

➵ When he brought it up to Satori, who had his own omega (A small, but fiery brunette named Yuka) leaning on his side as she played some sort of phone game on his phone (Mama's slusheria? He thinks?) .

➵He explained he didn't know what was going on with you while Satori listened with a hum before giving him a sad smile. "Sorry I can't help you further Ushi-waka, but as you can see-" He slid his unfinished lunch towards Yuka, who popped one of the Dango skewers into her mouth without looking up. "I'm not very familiar with the problem."

➵ He offered his help as much as he could nonetheless.

➵ He slowly began to pick up on smaller things, locking them in his steel trap.

➵ Like a good boy :)

➵ He put hours of research into omegas after this (not that he hadn't previously). Keeping strenuous notes beside him.

➵ They were colorful and highlighted :)

➵ And he followed the advice that 'Mommy Luna-boo' posted on the blog he found like a goddamn Mantra. ('Sometimes Omegas need a little more love! Their bodies, especially during high school years, will change a lot! They may feel a little down! As an alpha, make sure you remind them how beautiful they are!')

➵She was mother Theresa and he was her follower.

➵ Well after he followed you.

➵and after he made sure you were feeling better

___

"Omega?"

"Toshi."

Walking into your dorm room, Wakatoshi set down a small bag filled with goodies. He set it down on your bed as he sat down as well, watching you carefully.

When you gave him a small smile with a quirked brow, he took a deep breath, remembering everything Tendou had coached him through.

"Have you been eating enough lately?"

You sucked your tongue at the question, shuffling your shoulders. Truth be told you had been missing out on a few lunches after noting a few extra pounds you hadn't noticed earlier. You never meant to worry him, that was never your intention, but it seemed the world was working against you. You had no clue where to go from here. If you told him the truth that would do nothing but worry him, but lying was never good in any form of relationship.

Your hesitance to tell him was more than enough though, as his larger lands encased your own, holding them tightly.

"Why?" His tone wasn't accusatory nor was it angry in the slightest. Genuine curious if anything. If he could get to the bottom of the root of the problem, he could prevent it from happening in the future. Right?

"I- I just...Noticed a few extra pounds and-"

"That's it?"

You looked up to him with a tilted head, like a lost puppy. "What do you mean that's it?"

Pulling you closer, Wakatoshi effortlessly pulled you onto his lap, using one hand to dig through the bag beside him while the other wrapped around your hips. He pulled out a few of your favorite snacks laying them out in front of you.

"That's, in my opinion, a silly thing to worry about. If you feel that's a big problem, I can offer my services to you in any way you wish-- whether it be support or as help, it is my job to be there for you." He nuzzled your scent gland, voice rumbling against your shoulders.

You purred in response, leaning back onto your alpha.

Rintaro Suna

➵ Suna is a lot like Akaashi in the sense that he has incredible observational skills as an alpha.

➵ His eyes are like sniper scopes.

➵ The minute something is wrong, he's on it.

➵ Like he looks aloof but he's not.

➵ He had notes.

➵ So hiding something from him is not easy at all.

➵ But you two most likely ended up together because you gave him a run for his money.

➵ You made him work at being an alpha.

➵ And he loved you for that.

➵ It did come back to bite him in the ass though.

➵ The only reason he heard about this was because the betas at Inarizaki were loud mouths.

➵ Honestly he learned so much tea from them.

➵ Like this third year was sleeping with a first year because she planned on baby trapping him and-

➵ It was wild.

➵Though most times it was nothing more than a source of entertainment for you and him to laugh about.

➵This time the gossip was actually useful.

➵ He wasn't thrilled they were talking about you, but provided some very useful information.

➵ And he was set into action.

➵ typing a few things onto his phone he set out to find you.

___

"Rin, I said I'm not hungry-"

"I know and I'm making the executive decision to ignore you."

He squinted his eyes at the carefully written instructions in front of him, sending a silent thanks to Atsumu's mate Haruka. (;)) She had written a step by step instruction sheet to making Onigiri while also dropping off all the ingredients (Pre-prepped). The only reason she didn't make it was because Suna's alpha, no matter how much he trusted her, wouldn't have let it near you.

"Rintato-"

"Look, Y/N. I love you, you know that. You know a lot of things, you're my smart little omega. So you must also know this isn't good, right?" Sliding a plate of, albeit mediocre, onigiri towards you, Rintaro focused his gaze on you.

"You know this, eh?"

You swallowed before grabbing one of the triangles, nibbling on the top in an attempt to appease your alpha. His sharp gaze still focused on you, making you shiver as he rounded around the counter. He turned you around so you were facing him, his hands holding your hips.

"You know this."

You wilted under his expectant gaze, knowing what he wanted from you. "I know this."

He smirked, leaning to take bite from your snack, licking his lips as he did. "Good omega."

"Rintaro that's mine!"

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seraphtrevs · 2 years ago

Note

this question's been asked everywhere for years but i don't get how "family is everything" salamancas let Hector stay in that nursing home instead of getting him a live-in caretaker or something? or why Lalo didn't let him live with him? particularly lalo bc he clearly loves his uncle the most yet he didn't see him for months until after the incident too

It's a real head-scratcher. I mean, the "real" answer is that as a prequel, they were locked in - Hector HAS to be in a home because that's where he is in Breaking Bad. But I've cobbled together some in-universe reasons, too, because I live for headcanons:

Lalo's job in the cartel seems to be cleaning up messes. Maybe he was in the middle of something he could not walk away from, even for a minute, and this was the soonest he could make it. But who knows, maybe Lalo flew in for a few days to see Hector when he was in a coma and correctly determined that the only thing to be done was wait and see, which he could do from anywhere

Gus hooked Hector up with the best medical care money can buy. Without the intervention of the fancy doctors he hired, Hector would likely still be in a coma. We as the audience know that Gus instructed the doctor to lay off once it was determined that Hector was mentally alert but trapped in a nonfunctioning body, but the Salamancas don't know that. All they know is that Hector's recovery was a longshot and he pulled through. Lalo might feel like he's getting the best possible treatment and doesn't want to move him away from that

Lalo also might think that being in the US is safer for Hector. Lalo severely underestimated Gus, right up until the end, assuming he was a meek little house cat. I'm not sure he was ever able to make heads or tails of why Gus saved Hector's life. Maybe he thought Gus was trying to kiss Eladio's ass by proving he was a team player. He certainly didn't guess that Gus wanted him alive because he viewed his condition as torture and it pleased him to see Hector powerless; Lalo definitely would have moved him if he knew that was the case

It's extremely painful for Lalo to see his powerful tio as an invalid. Lalo might have put off visiting him because he knew once he saw it for himself, the reality would set in. It would be unusually cowardly of him, but for all of his larger-than-life traits, Lalo is still a fallible human being in the end

Lalo might have had plans to move Hector to his hacienda - there isn't really any evidence that's the case, but there's not any evidence that it's not the case, either. Maybe when he took Nacho home, he also planned to get things set up for tio...

...but maybe not. We don't get an exact location for Lalo's home, but I get the feeling that it's in the middle of nowhere. What if Hector had an emergency and they couldn't get him to the hospital on time? Lalo could, of course, hire doctors and nurses to give him round-the-clock care, but short of building a hospital wing off his hacienda, it's still a risk to his health to keep him somewhere very rural...

...and maybe Lalo doesn't really want him there. He's very devoted to his tio and doesn't seem to shy away from his disability, but it's one thing to visit a sick relative and another to have them in your home. Lalo's home is his sanctuary - where he goes to get away from stress. Having tio there, even though he loves him, might be too distressing. Again, this is selfish and cowardly, but he wouldn't be the first person to fail an ailing family member, even though he loves him

None of the other Salamancas we meet are capable of handling Hector's care - like, not even in a hiring the right people kind of way. Maybe at one point Tuco could have handled it - he seemed to do a pretty good job with abuelita - but by the time he got out of jail, he was severely unstable, even for him. He did take Hector out of the home, and we all saw how well that turned out. I don't know why Hector's child/ren didn't get involved (we know he has at least once since he has a grandson). Maybe they're dead or estranged. We don't really know anything about his grandson, but there could be a host of reasons why he wasn't up to taking charge of Hector's care. And there aren't any other Salamancas. He really is alone in the end.

#hector salamanca #lalo salamanca #better call saul #asks

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mixu · 2 years ago

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Day 2 + Day 19 (Sunflowers + Travelling Together)

Summary: Naruto travels with Sasuke after the War

.-.-.-

It was Sasuke's fault. He should have refused Naruto but succumbed to a moment of weakness. Their fight, no, the aftermath of their fight had unleashed something inside him. He was tired of pushing Naruto away; he wanted to bask in the other's light after all the time spent in the darkness. Naruto had been impulsive, and Sasuke had been selfish.

Naruto had been full of energy and excitement in the beginning. He kept smiling at Sasuke as if he couldn't contain his happiness. He kept looking at their surroundings in awe, admiring every leaf of grass, every rock by the river and every star in the sky. It was as if he saw everything for the first time, and Sasuke was smitten with the sight.

It had not lasted.

One afternoon, Naruto's demeanour changed. His smile had all but vanished, and his excitement had turned into contemplativeness. Sasuke didn't understand, was afraid of asking for the reason. Maybe a couple of days was all it had taken for Naruto to decide Sasuke was not worth the effort after all. Why should he abandon his life to keep Sasuke company? He didn't even know what he was looking for or how long it would take to find it.

Sasuke decided to offer him a way out.

"We are not far yet," Sasuke said one night around the third week of their journey as they contemplated the flames of their campfire. "You could go back still."

Naruto looked away from the flames, directing his uncertain eyes towards Sasuke. "Do you want me to go back?"

"I think you miss Konoha."

Naruto fell silent for a moment, then said, "I don't- I mean, I miss Konoha, but I want to be here with you."

Sasuke's breath caught. The memory of the Valley of the End was still raw and tender, firing his hope. Sasuke pushed down the feeling. He refused to indulge himself any longer. Not if he was causing Naruto pain.

"You don't look as if you want to be here."

"I should have known you'd realize." Naruto smiled sadly and sighed. "But it's not what you think." He reached into his pocket and handed Sasuke the piece of paper he had been carrying.

Sasuke frowned when he read Nara's words. "You said you had permission."

Naruto looked away, rubbing the back of his neck. "I had... for one week."

"Usuratonkachi."

"I asked for an extension."

"And you didn't get it."

"Technically, I did."

"This says the only reason they have not sent someone after you is that they're short on staff."

"Exactly!" Naruto brightened up. "If I were needed in Konoha, Kakashi-sensei wouldn't have sent a letter."

Sasuke couldn't argue against that. Although, he considered part of the reason Konoha had not tried was that there was literally no force in the world capable of forcing Naruto to return if he didn't want to. He was surprised Kakashi had not asked him to convince Naruto to return.

Sasuke sighed. "What's with the gloomy face then, Dobe?"

"Well, they could come for me any moment."

"Are you sure you still don't want to go back?" That would probably save everyone plenty of trouble.

"I am, believe it!" Naruto chirped. "This is not only about us. Like- I've been thinking. I don't want change only for Konoha. To change the Ninja World, I must understand all of it."

Sasuke hoped his admiration didn't show. "Well, we better make the most of the time you have."

So, Naruto had not left, and Sasuke had not suggested it again.

*～*～*～*～*

They visited a dozen villages in Kusa. Naruto talked to people while Sasuke observed. At some point, Naruto started helping people with their daily tasks and dragged Sasuke along. They cut wood, looked for lost pets, painted houses, and pulled weeds. They got invited to the table of those they helped. Naruto said it was like clearing D-rank missions again. Sasuke admitted it was good training to regain the balance lost with their arms.

It was in one of the larger markets Naruto saw the sunflowers for the first time.

They were preparing to leave the area, buying supplies. Sasuke was trying to discern the right amount of rice to carry with them when Naruto ran towards a flower stall, leaving him alone to transport what they had already bought. Sasuke rolled his eyes. It was always the same, and even though he didn't care about the weight, it was still uncomfortable to carry everything with a single hand.

"If you do that again, you'll have to carry everything for a week. No clones." He pulled at Naruto's ear.

"Sorry, Sasuke." Naruto giggled. "Look! Had you ever seen sunflowers that big?"

"They are as big as your head. That's a lot."

"Teme-"

"You have a good eye, young man." The merchant interrupted whatever profanity Naruto was about to spit his way. "My family has grown this variety for generations."

"How much?" Naruto reached for one of the flowerpots —the largest, no less— but Sasuke stopped him.

"Don't even think about it."

"What! Why?"

"It's huge."

"Please, Sasuke, I know we have a budget, but-"

"It's not about the budget, moron. Are you going to carry that everywhere? You won't be able to take proper care of it. What if we have to fight?"

"Yeah, you are right."

Sasuke didn't like how Naruto's face fell nor the way his heart clenched at the sight. "Now go get our things." He said, turning around. "We have to leave today."

Sasuke risked another glance at Naruto's back, then at the stupidly big flowers. He almost groaned. Was he actually going to spend money on something that might never make it to Naruto's apartment? Would it even fit? Sasuke hated futile efforts.

"Excuse me." The merchant called him.

"Hn."

"You can always buy the seeds."

Sasuke was sure the old lady charged him extra for the seeds, but he didn't care.

*～*～*～*～*

Naruto was still worried about the time Konoha would finally summon him. He feared he would never get to see the world like this again, to be this close to the people that needed his help. He feared routine and responsibility would overwrite these memories. He feared Sasuke's absence in his life.

Sasuke still couldn't make promises. He didn't know what would happen in the future. He didn't know if this would be all the time they would ever have. But that was the purpose of the seeds. Wherever they went, Naruto would manage to find a different variety of sunflowers. Then Sasuke would wait for him to look away and buy a pack of seeds that he would later hide among his belongings, waiting for the right time.

Sasuke had started to picture a garden full of life and overflowing sunflowers of all kinds. Blooms large as Naruto's face and small as a shuriken; orange, red and yellow petals among rarer ones like white and dark as chocolate. One-stem sunflowers and branched sunflowers; single and double petal sunflowers that resembled Naruto's messy hair. Each one was a reminder of the time they spent together.

That was what Sasuke carried with him: Seeds of hope for an uncertain future.

.-.-.-

All the chapters here: Ramen and Tomatoes

#snsmonth22 #sasunarumonth22 #sunflower #oneshot #ao3 repost #hopeful

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hellomynamiseglaf · 4 years ago

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🌰Chestnuts and Warm Milk🍂

My List of ~Favorites~ for Interactive Fiction and Visual Novels

(This is a work in progress so please bear with me)

Interactive Fiction:

The Wayhaven Chronicles (WIP Series in Development) - @seraphinitegames (Look,,, I’m just... obsessed.. I can’t stop thinking abt it,,, and I'm..... sometimes, I read and I think I feel like I know what love is.)

Mind Blind (WIP) - @mindblindbard (I just,, UGH it’s so good. I can't even say that much because my feelings about it are so potent that everytime I see an update I try to tell myself to leave it alone to play larger portions of updates as a treat and everytime my willpower FAILS and I replay the demo like twice in a row)

Demon: Recollect ; Forsaken (WIP) - both by @bathalafiction (whew...WHEW!!! Are you kidding me?? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? Look. I was attached to Demon: Recollect. I loved it. And then I played the Forsaken WIP and now I can't get over my absolutely BOMB character design for my player persona. Also it's kind of fun being considered a jerk in the game, because it opens up a lot of different options that I usually feel bad about taking)

Shadow Society - @carawenfiction (the concept is so interesting,, I dream of more. Also Quaiel...baby...)

The Soul Stone War - @intimidatingpuffinstudios (also whew!! I really enjoyed it and the characters all picture themselves really vividly in my mind for some reason.)

Greenwarden (WIP) - @fiddles-ifs (reading this is like thick fog.. but in a good way? I don't know how to describe it without pictures but this IF smells like fog over wet grass)

Divine Intervention (WIP) - @divineinterventiongame (the concept?? UGH SO GOOD. For some reason it's always the first game I click to check for updates)

Golden (WIP) - @milaswriting (😈😈😈😈)

Blood/line (WIP) - @bloodlineoffical (simply put,,, LARRY)

Supernatural in New York ; The Bastard of Camelot (both WIPs) - @llamagirl28 (UGH Both of these are so good in their own ways but equally as exciting to see updates for. I haven't consolidated my feelings much further than "my MC for SiNY is so cute" and "Mordred is a child" but they're all generally positive.)

Ace of Spades (WIP) - @steph-writing (I keep thinking about,,, con........)

Nevermoore (WIP) - @asteristories (AHHHHH.... let me say it again for those in the back: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH)

Son of Satan: The Mortal Coil (WIP) - @sosthemortalcoil (YES.)

Shepherds of Haven (WIP) - @shepherds-of-haven (yes. I just have to sigh because it's very good and I like saying those funny little words of power. But also outside of the game I can only picture this game as a great, grey border collie)

Attollo (WIP) - @attollo (Also a very interesting concept, whoo... I almost forgot how immersive it was untill I played the demo again and was reminded of how 'into it' I was straight off the bat. Also the seperate, short little piece on the blog with Sysba was also really good and I had a dream about it the other day)

Into the Shadows (WIP) - @wynnakang (whooo.... I'm sighing again, but louder. I press restart and play the demo again)

A Comedy of Manors (WIP) - @sviyaginthegreat (I kept replaying options that I hadn't chosen before because I wanted there to be more lmao)

Fallen Hero: Rebirth - @fallen-hero (I think there's a sequel coming up? I haven't stopped thinking about this storyline since I finished it omg... the.. the details are really good and I've become ridiculously attached to my tragic villain? Character... she IS the standard for my reusable IF persona, or at least one of my most prominent ones ;-D )

Samurai of Hyuga (WIP series) - (I'm pretty sure multiplechoicestudios.com is the development blog for this game, or at least what I've been checking for updates..... this is a series with four book currently out.... and I've been playing through book 4 at slower than a snail's pace in a desperate attempt to prolong my experience. I really didn't think I was going to like it as much as I did but I got a little too into it and now I'm horribly attached to all the characters)

The Porthecrawl Witness(WIP) - @porthecrawl-witness (I'm pretty sure this is a WIP?? But ugh. SCREEEEEE- it's so good. It's SO GOOD. I really want to punch Talbot in the face. And Asher, if for a different reason. And sort of Staci just to try. Quinn is just a cutie I could never hurt him like that. Ugh but they're all so good and I forgot that I was reading a WIP untill it suddenly was over..... I'mfeeling really aggressive rn as I'm writing this, so please just note that the punch comment is meant as a statement on how interesting the concept and immersiveness of the characters and story is)

Forgotten Names (WIP) - by Alexandra_Zorila on the CoG Forum (turn the volume up. AHHHHHHHHHH!!! Look, look. It's..... delicious. It's SO interesting and I obsessively have a tab open on my computer to check for updates)

OFNA: Birds of a Feather (WIP) - @ofna (the vibes are so grey and smoky but the fog is definitely from a party smoke machine and the room is only dark because the walls are taped with those huge sheets of black construction paper that teachers use to cover their bulletin boards with... the game definitely falls in the 'dark and mysterious' genre but something just strikes me as really funny when I play it. Anyway it's good and it's in a lot if recommended lists for a reason. Also I'm very attached to my American Goldfinch)

More Things in Heaven and Earth (WIP) - @morethingsgame (in the same way that it's fun to play Guenevere in the Guenevere game or Mordred in The Bastard of Camelot, playing Ophelia in the sort-of Hamlet story is really fun. If anyone has read the Missing collection- which I absolutely love- by Margaret Peterson Haddix, this gives me similar vibes for some reason. Anyway, I really want to give Hamlet a hug and make him a flower crown or something)

A Tale of Crowns (WIP) - @ataleofcrowns (It's kind of not even funny how much I love this game... It's hard to even describe why I like it, just that it's so well rounded in terms of the story, characters, dialogue, and relationships. It's such an interesting plotline and it's pretty immersive. Also the first time I read the demo, there was an update as I was reading and the high that sent me on has very rarely been matched. Also Dara running to save my Crown in the tunnel?? 🤚😩🤭💓 ugh. UGH!! That's good food for my fool heart)

Scout: An Apocalypse Story (WIP)- @anya-dev (I'm usually not that into apocalypse themes/plots but I really enjoyed this game, and the plot was very good and intruiging... it really pulled me in and I like my character in the story a lot. I don't know why but it tastes like chikuwa, atsuage, and this specific type of carmelized onions that my mom makes sometimes)

Nothing left to burn (WIP)- @clowdee-works (......ouch. I *knew* what was going to happen and I STILL became attached to Drew)

Smoke and Velvet - @roast-ifs (It's good. And I am VEDY much into my character design. Also the story is really interesting, and I enjoy the setting a lot somehow)

Speaker (WIP)- @speakergame (very fun to play, and each update gets me more interested in the aspects of the plot. I also really like the little descriptions of what the characters think of the player)

The Nameless (WIP)- @parkerlyn (interesting plot, I like the characters a lot, and The aesthetics of this world are so interesting. Definitely had a good time visualizing what everything looked like)

Fields of Asphodel (WIP) - @asphodelgame (I think it's really cute so far!!! I like mythology in general, and the persephone/hades dynamic is *mwah!*... I like the way the story progresses in the beginning, and I think it works well in drawing the reader into the world. I also very much enjoy petting large dogs.)

...there are so much more.. and I have followed so many blogs.........

I'm not sure why I can't find it rn but there's this one WIP game that I really like where the MC buys a manor for like dollar and moves to go live there with her best friend and shenanigans ensue as they try to settle in and fix up the estate

Harbringer (WIP) - @harbringercog (....are you KIDDING me?? I was fully planning on just enjoying the demo and keeping a mental note to update the list sometime later,,, but this game... THIS GAME really made me fold. It's very immersive and regardless of how nervous the author claims to be after releasing the demo, it's of my humble opinion that those nerves can be calmed. It's very good. I was planning on procrastinating and reading a little bit and then going back to this essay I need to write, but somehow I got pulled in and ended up reading through the whole demo and it's apparent that I honestly had no chance of getting through this without becoming invested in the plot.... just... so good.. I'm very excited to see how this will progress)

Visual Novels:

Andromeda 6 (WIP) - @andromeda-six (I repeat: Obsessed, I come back every few months to see an update and I fall deeper into the hole every time...)

To the Edge of the Sky (WIP,, probably) - by Ajané (??) on Steam (I think, it’s been a while)

Next on my list to check out: Perfumare by pdrrook

Does.... does The Arcana game by Nix Hydra count as VN?? If so, then yes.

Similarly, the FictIF games are all entertaining, although Last Legacy and Heir to Love and Lies are my favorites rn (and.....unfinished....)

I also don't know if this counts, because I kind of consider Otome games to be their own genre, but on the Love 365: find your story by Voltage Inc. There are a bunch of fun stories, my favorite of which are: the Shinichi Kagari route on After School Affairs and the Saejima and Keiichiro routes on Bad Boys do it Better

..To be continued...

#IF_VN #fis fic recs #interactive fiction #visual novels #game #recommendations

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hardlyinteresting · 3 years ago

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Ask and you shall receive: here are my personal headcanons about Laszlo's house and the Kreisler Institute

(Minor spoilers for season one, I've added a read more, so no one reads them by accident! 💕)

I would assume that Laszlo inherited his family home, he could have sold it. but I feel as though that wasn't really the norm for that point in time. And I think that especially in higher society him selling the house would raise some eyebrows. "Gilded Age New York" was an interesting time period and there was a weird focus on buy property in the city and stuff, I just don't see him selling the house (I'll come back to this).

And between him trying to keep his father's abuse hidden, and his unresolved trauma I don't see him selling it. With the amount of money he has it was absolutely a large, grand home so it would be a great place to open an institute.

The house that he lives in I don't think is his family home, it's far too "modern" both the furnishings, but also the actual architecture is all art nouveau which is definitively a style of the 1880s and 90s. And while he could have renovated, Laszlo doesn't strike me as the kind of man to renovate his home to match the latest fashion. I think that he purchased the home in that period.

Also, we've established that Laszlo is wealthier than John and Sara both. I would say that Sara's house is much larger than Laszlo's though, or at least the rooms we see in it. John's house is his grandmother's townhouse (this is not the Moore family home), but we know that his father is still alive and either in new york city or just outside the city, I believe John's family home is also much larger, similar in size to Sara's if not slightly bigger. John's grandmother's house is closer in size to Laszlo's. Following this logic, if the Kreisler's are wealthier than the Moores and the Howards, the Kreisler family home would be at least as large or much larger than theirs. Thus, I reiterate, Laszlo does not actually live in his family home. So what happened?

I imagine he lived with his parents until he went to Harvard when he had a dormitory. Then he probably rented a flat in New York City until his father was put into the old age home that we see him in at the end of the season. Laszlo took over the family finances, opened the institute in his early 30s and bought his own home (the one he actually lives in).

Also, the institute has notably older architecture than his own home, and while it would have been renovated for the needs of an institution, it also demonstrates that Laszlo isn't interested in trends. the rest of the building like the library and office are not renovated. The hallways in dark wood panelling etc are not new, if he wanted to get on a trend they would be modernized as well but they're not.

The little laboratory off the side of the library is art nouveau style but not in a fashion-forward kind of way, more of a standard building style for that time. But I also assume his family home didn't have an existing laboratory, so it makes sense that a room that was renovated is in that style compared to the rest of the home.

you can see that some of the architecture is still a bit older, even in the lab, but the parts updated to serve as a laboratory; the tiled floors, new paint etc are art nouveau. The colour scheme, white and green, pink accents are definitively art nouveau, unlike the rest of the building.

A really great example is the green colomn in the lab. Here's a photo of a similar one in a FULLY art nouveau home, and while the ones in the lab are MUCH simpler, you can see the similarities in terms of style:

As I said though, none of the institute is fully art nouveau, only bits. (Laszlo's actual home is fully art nouveau and I will absolutely go through with screen shots and break it down if you want???)

My friend @exit-goat also pointed out that when we see other institutions throughout the series, they are nowhere near as homey as the Kreisler institute. And while that might just be because of the environment Laszlo is trying to cultivate, it's also just that the architecture is that of a home.

I also love the idea of Laszlo using his family home for the institute for a couple reasons: one, what a massive f--- you to his father, opening a sanctuary for troubled and abused children in the very home his father had so much power in. Two, in many ways Laszlo cares so much for every child there, in many ways the institute is raising them, so in a way, they're all his children, it's appropriate that he raises them in his home.

Let me know if you want me to expand on this or anything similar in the future, I'm studying interior decorating, and I'm very interested in set design for film and tv, and historical interior design so I'd be very happy to talk more about it!

#laszlo kriezler x reader #daniel bruhl x reader #laszlo kreizler #daniel bruhl #the alienist

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resinatingbeauty · 3 years ago

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Witchcraft & Expectations

What do you really expect from the Craft?

I had considered writing this for a while before actually doing it just because I didn't want anyone to feel like they were being attacked or singled out. Offending you isn't the purpose of this post, so please do not be discouraged by anything you read here. There is no wrong way of practicing your Craft and to each their own. I was just curious about perspectives when it comes to your expectations regarding Witchcraft, magick, and spirituality as I have dealt with many different people following many different paths since focusing more on my Craft and art through my shop which began on Mercari and grew enough to become more established on Etsy.

I do sell many spiritual / witchy items from personalized spell kits to witchy mystery boxes compiled with Intuitively chosen and my own handmade, one of a kind items. Among the most popular spiritual offerings are my 'buy one get one miniature spell jars,' which allow my customers to select two general purposes or a personalized request from which I assemble and enchant a miniature glass spell jar containing herbs, crystals, essential oils, and other objects based on their needs and requests. I wanted to make these little portable vessel talismans more available to everyone price and purpose wise, compared to others that have been charged with a more specific intent or devoted to a specific deity.

I have a long history of using spell jars myself for various purposes whenever I feel compelled to create one or a special occasion arises. I'm picky about larger jars and bottles, however, so they are usually created in small corked jars or in larger jars that I will sometimes embellish or try new things to integrate that allow the spell jar to also be an appealing or intriguing piece of handmade everyday decor while serving its spiritual purpose, such as the one in the photo above.

For the most part, I have found a surprisingly amount of success with my spell jars. Not just myself, but others as well have reported events that they thought were directly related to their spell jar. I had created one for my neighbor a couple weeks ago who had been searching for a better job than the one she had at a preschool. The day after I gave her the jar, she received a text from an old coworker who notified her that a position at a bank she had applied at months ago that had nothing available at that time had just opened up.

This actually exceeded my expectations. In my experience, magick takes time. Others who have commented on the success of their spell jars or magick in general would contact me a few weeks or so after using their spell kit or receiving their spell jar. I created a spell jar back in January to help jumpstart my small business selling my crafts and Craft and didn't really start to see a huge change until mid-March-April where I was more successful than even I anticipated.

This was about on par with what I expected in terms of time, as most spells I've ever done have taken days, weeks, or even months to start manifesting results that couldn't be passed off or ignored. To be sure, I include a scroll with each of my kits and jars explaining how they are best utilized, to have patience, how to set a purpose and intentions, the power of thinking positively, and that magick rewards those who are willing to work and make sacrifices for what they desire. To me, all of these things are virtues that this path teaches us and are part of what makes the Craft so empowering overall. Whether it was the spell or your hard work, you are the catalyst for change. You made things happen. I mean, what is more empowering than that?

This is part of the reason why I personally chose to over spell kits and magickal tools rather than offering to cast spells or perform rituals on one's behalf. It was my desire to make YOU feel empowered and you are the one ultimately responsible for your own success or failure, whether spiritually or otherwise. I'll gladly steer you down the road of success and provide you with my knowledge, experience, and guidance, but I am always clear about what to expect.

Unfortunately, we live in a time where instant gratification is anticipated and expected, which I never considered in terms of Witchcraft. I knew that no matter how many times I write 'set realistic expectations, focus on your purpose, be patient, and keep doing what your doing' that some people would just blow through all that hoping that they just bought a quick fix for all their problems for $6.99 + a buy one get one deal.

Two weeks or so ago, I had received an order for said jars from a young man who simply said he wanted a personalized spell jar for lucid dreaming and dream work and selected his second 'free' one for self empowerment. I reached out to clarify and answered some of his questions. My immediate impression from him was one of discord. He expressed a lot of turmoil in his life over the past few months and claimed to have taken on a lot of responsibility. He seemed young and eager, with a ton of questions regarding magick in general. I answered his questions the best I could, but reiterated the same values I expressed in the previous paragraph when asked why such and such spell wasn't working, 'should I not have done this,' etc. Magick takes time to manifest, especially when it comes to financial purposes like he explained which are inherently unlikely to resolve themselves overnight.

He seemed happy enough with his purchase and said as much when he received his package. A couple days later, I received a notification about a review he had left which was negative, saying one of his spell jars didn't work with a message delivered in tandem asking what purpose I had set for his spell jar.

Let me say this: I am not upset with him or complaining about his review. He is entitled to his own opinion, although I was annoyed with how quickly he had come to the conclusion when in the instructions I provided him I specifically said that these things take time to work. Anyone who receives results instantly or within the next day or so are exceeding my own expectations. Which is great! Hooray!

But this is definitely not the standard I've come to expect in all the years I've been practicing the Craft.

I continued chatting with and answering this young man's questions and ultimately uncovered that he was upset about a variety of things that had been going on in his life. In his mind, he felt entitled to have these things work for him sooner rather than later and was frustrated and angry that nothing he tried had been working out the way he expected.

In the time that I have opened my little shop, I have (thankfully) only run into one other person like this- where their understanding of Witchcraft seems to have been compiled from television and movies. After the first, I learned to tread lightly around these individuals because, whether it's their fault or not, they have been mislead.

Television shows like old school Charmed and the newer Salem and Witches of East End are really entertaining. I enjoyed watching them, but they are the absolute enemy of those who practice magick / witchcraft as a form of religion or spirituality. Sure, some of these shows actually do their research. Even Buffy the Vampire Slayer was ahead of its time introducing Wiccans, Technopagans, and New Age practices to pop culture and in many ways helped to show people an obscured version of the truth during the 'Satanic Panic' period when even witches hated being called witches and the pentagram / pentacle difference became an actual difference that wasn't just a choice of words.

Newer generations growing up with Harry Potter, which is hardly a great introduction into magickal traditions, were at least more open minded than the previous generation to the actuality of witchcraft and magick as a spiritual practice.

I mean, who doesn't want to snap their fingers and make the house tidy in one fell swoop?

I sure do. But even when I first started practicing at 11 I understood that that just isn't how it is.

This young man who was saying he lead a coven sounded more like he was LARPing than legitimately asking for spiritual guidance. I realized real quick that I couldn't do anything for him. What he wanted and expected, no matter how many times I referenced the instructions I provided (he evidently hadn't acknowledged) and relayed to him my own experience and expectations, he was looking for that 'quick fix' and someone or something to blame for when it didn't work the way he thought it would. The main reason for his complaint? The night after he received his spell jar, he said he just dreamnt about the moon.

My understanding of lucid dreaming was having direct control over ones dreams. The more I talked to this person the more it became clear that this wasn't his understanding of lucid dreaming. I tried to ask what he had tried to gain that control, as many of you know that I suffered from sleep paralysis for years and taught myself how to realize and 'break out' of it over time. He referenced making offerings to a goddess. I had to stop.

I'm sure that another business minded witch would have sold him something else or offered an exchange. I (stupidly) tried to make him understand that he has the power to manifest his desires. All I did was provide him with a tool to help things along.

This was the same for the woman I had dealt with months ago who said that she had been told by this coven owned business that she was a vampire reincarnated to be with her lover. That was the ultimate end of our conversation because she didn't seem very open to anything I suggested. Whether the things she bought were 'effective' for her or not we will never know. When she started messaging me to the point of harassment I deleted her messages and flagged them as spam. All this time and effort spent consoling someone who really isn't in the right frame of mind for magick or witchcraft.

The main point in writing this ranty post is to get the perspective of the community. What are your expectations for your own spells? What do you tell others when they ask? If you are also a 'witch shop' owner or own your own spiritual practice how do you deal with clients that have set unrealistic expectations for you and your Craft?

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wornoutmouse · 4 years ago

Text

Ojiro x Black reader

Sub/Dom dynamics.

Spanking and I don't mean like "haha you have big ass me likey oogaabooga" I'm talking "count for me"

But it's still really sweet ya'know? Ojiro best boi

I've tried so many times but "dick" never looks good on paper. But i want to find another word cause cock is giving me very much 🏈 fratboy🏈

"Oji~ you know that I love you?" A digitally inhanced sigh fills the room, "Yes"

It was a Saturday and you were currently waiting for your boyfriend to come home for your birthday. So what do you do to pass the time? Call him every hour of the day of course.

"Y/N, can I please just do my job, I promise I will only focus on you when I get back." You pouted as you twirled your freshly finished twist outs, "I mean I could do that."

You could hear Ojiro hold his breath on the other side of the line, making your smirk widen, "But I won't cause I love you so much baby!"

You knew you were wrong for doing this, you just found so much joy at his expense. From elsewhere in the house, the doorbell rang drawing your attention. "Fine, Mashiro I'm going to call you back later okay baby?" A wheeze came through the phone, "Yes babe, I love you bye!"

You giggle at the thought of his relieved face as you tiptoe to the front door. "Is this for me?!" You sing out to no one in particular as you pick up an unmarked bag of plastic. Bringing it inside your mouth, you tear it open with your teeth, and begin to feel giddy once you see what's inside.

A while ago, you had ordered some yellow lingerie to match Oijiro's hair, and after helplessly scouring the internet, you finally found one in a good shade, nice design, and reasonable price.

(Nah y'all know how hard it was to find a black girl in yellow lingeire? I don't understand it's not like i looked up a specific skin tone, I kept getting white people 😭 i barely found this one and what pissed me off was that i had given up and searched "black girl in white lingeire" to match Oijiro's hero costume and finally i got a cute yellow one like wtf?!)

Edit: THE DAMN LINGERIE NEVER LOADED HERE

You go to your room and try it on and after struggling with adjusting the thigh straps to your massive thighs, you were able to stand in front of your full length mirror to take pictures. "Oo look at me!" You dance a little in front of the mirror, shaking your hips.

You stop for a moment as a devious smile comes into your face. You grab your phone and set it up to take pictures. After a mini photo shoot that distracted you for about 30 minutes, you decided to send 2 of them to your ever so loving boyfriend.

You wait a few moments and gasp as you see the word seen pop up. You do a leap around the house giggling with anxiety from his reaction.

When you got back to your bed you huff at his lack of reply. "He couldn't even give me the tease of a text bubble?!"

That ruined your mood as you grabbed your house coat and stomped around the house cleaning up and watching TV. You don't call him after that, "He doesn't deserve my presence."

In reality, you were in your feelings for honestly nothing. You knew he was working but it still would have been nice to get a reaction.

*Thump*

You jump and damn near take the entire kitchen with your a you look around the seemingly empty house, "What the hell?!"

*Thump*

The sound was coming from your balcony. You peek around the doorway and your eyes go wide. "Oijiro what are your doing here?" You move to open the glass doors but stop as you make eye contact with your man.

His beautiful face was adorned with features of a rabid animal. He pressed his phone against the glass door and you gulped as you saw your picture, full screen. "Yeah, I think I'm going to let you simmer out there for a while.

*Thump*

That was the sound of Oijiro's heavy tail hitting the ground. You knew that movement, it was similar to a bunny temper tantrum but deadlier. "Open the door y/n."

A shiver runs throughout your body at the sound of his voice. It was deep and unwavering as he blankly stared at you through the panels. Feeling down right terrified, you turn around on your heel and go on your merry way. 'y'all hear something cause I sure don't'

Click

You stop in your tracks as you hear movement behind you.

'he got in didn't he'

'why did I give him the key?'

You try to inconspicuously shuffle away before a hand finds its way around your neck and the soft pad of a thumb on your tongue. "That wasn't very nice of you, to leave me out there." You giggle uncomfortably as Ojiro places gentle kisses along the expanse of your neck.

"I just thought, you needed some fresh air." The hand tightens and you can't help but grab onto his wrist in that moment. "I don't like it when you're a smart alec Y/N." In the distance, you heard the sound of his tail thumping again, shaking nearby decorations and furniture.

Grabbing your hands, Oijiro walls you to your shared bedroom and locks the door. You sit on the bed and twiddle your fingers as Ojiro stood in front of you glaring. "Does this mean you didn't like my photo or?"

Oijiro's steely eyes meet yours and you flinch, "Oh I loved it. I loved it so much that I popped a glorious erection during a meeting in front of all my peers." Oijiro's trail thumps against the floor, making you jump. "Do you know how hard it is to hide a boner when your hero costume is a robe, princess?"

Princess, that word meant business, and business meant no sitting down properly for a week. 'this birthday gonna be lit.' is all you thought as you lazily cross your legs. "I don't know, I'd assume it would be easier than spandex?"

Ojiro smirks as he drags your body to the head of the bed, holding down your hands securely. Getting on the bed Oijiro grips your chin in his hand before kissing your mouth gently. "Happy Birthday."

He sits back and recklessly opens your robe and down right moans at the sight of you. "When did you buy this?" You look away, embarrassed, "It was for your birthday but it didn't come in time." Oijiro nodded as he pulled on a thigh strap before releasing it with a loud snap.

"You look beautiful in it." For a while, Oijiro spends his time caressing you. Starting from your breasts which he sucked on generously, and your stomach that he peppered with kisses. All while avoiding your erogenous zones and making you needier.

"Ojiro!" You moaned as he scraped his teeth below your naval. Ojiro watched you with trained eyes as his hands follow your plush thighs, squeezing them every so often.

"Sending that picture wasn't very nice of you." Ojiro mumbled as he grazed over the one place you needed him to touch. "Please, touch me."

Oijiro props himself up pulling you with him. His hands follow your waist and stop at your butt, squeezing at the mounds as he continues to kiss your skin. "I don't think you've learned your lesson Y/n." You nodded quickly and whined, "I did learn my lesson, promise!" You try to entice him by grinding against him, but you quickly realize that was the wrong thing to do as his face grows serious.

"This is a fine example of what I mean, you're impatient." Not liking that answer, you pout and cross your arms, "This is stupid it's my birthday." Oijiro flicks your nose, "Watch your attitude. You incoherently mumble again clearly defiant. "Lay over my lap."

Minutes before you could protest, he's already tugging you, face down, over his lap and delivering a smack. "Ow!" "I want you to count for me, lose place and we start over. Don't count and I'll make this longer. Do you remember your safe word?" You nod your head slowly and jump as your ass blazes with heat from another smack "1. Thank you sir."

You hate to admit it but it had been a while since you pushed Ojiro this far punishment wise so it wasn't surprising that you were shaking by 5, crying by 7, Ojiro was hard by 9, and you were extremely wet by 12. "You're taking your punishment so we'll." You gripped the sheets tightly into your hands and crossed your legs as you revived another slap, "T-Twenty, thank you s-sir."

You expected to revive more but was pleasantly surprised when you were coaxed off of Oijiro's lap and pulled in between his legs. His face was flushed and he was breathing heavily for someone that hasn't been spanked. "Are you okay dear?" You sniff as Ojiro takes your hands and places kisses on your knuckles.

You run your legs together and look down at him with pleading eyes. "What's wrong baby? Haven't I taken care of you enough today?" Ojiro mocked, but you personally couldn't find anything funny. You drop to your knees and rub his legs before shortly trailing your fingers over his crotch.

Ojiro does nothing but watch, as you gently tug on the fabric of his hero costume. "Oji it's my birthday." Ojiro shrugged, "You're right it is your birthday. Don't you think you're old enough to make your own decisions?" You smirk at that and quickly pull his cock out of hiding.

You internally drooled at the sight of him. Oijiro's size was conservitively average with only girth going for him, but something about that turned you on more than if he was larger. He watches you, mouth parted as you give kitten licks to the tip of his cock, tasting the pre-cum that had accumulated.

Gingerly, he places his hand on the back of your head, urging you to continue. You smirk up at him and bat your eyelashes slowly as you trail your tongue from the base to the tip, where you bow your head, to swallow him whole.

"Shit." Ojiro pushes you all the way down and tosses his head back as he feels you constrict around him. You raise a hand to fondle his sensitive..balls😑. Causing him to jerk his hips making the tip hit the back of your throat.

As you busy yourself, you couldn't help but grind on his thick tail that rested below you. "S-Shit Y/N you're going to get your juices all over me!" You hum in response as you continue to buck your hips against the large mass of muscle.

Ojiro pulls your hair to stop you from sucking as he kisses your lips with a sigh. "You have to stop now or I won't last any longer." You chuckle as you stand to your full height and watch as Ojiro kisses your belly with closed eyes. "Wow, who knew a little bit of fabric would turn you into a 1 pump chump?!"

Ojiro glares up at you as he smacks your ass, making you whine as it reignites the soreness from before.

Pulling you onto the bed, Ojiro stands up, holding his tail to his face as he licks up your release. "You got me all messy." Pulling off the rest of his clothing, Ojiro climbs behind you, and he gently dips a finger into your warm cavern. "Are you ready?" He asks as he pushes your head down and pulls your waist closer to him.

He watches as your holes noticeably clench at his voice. "Please, Oji."

The thickness was something you never got used to and though patient with foreplay, Ojiro always had a hard time holding back even if he puts only his tip in. Arousal drips down your entrance slowly and he uses that to aid the rest of him inside. "So pretty for me." Ojiro takes hold of your underwear straps and uses that to push his way in.

Your mouth opens in a silent yell as you feel your insides constrict around him. "Relax baby, I can't move." You breath shakily and Ojiro gently waits for you to relax by rubbing sharp circles into your twitching clit.

You angle your hips back and fuck yourself into his cock once you were ready. He guides you and drinks in all your whimpers as you attempt to go faster. "Does that feel good baby? Is my dick making you shake?" Your reply is a series of breathy 'yes's' as Ojiro picks up speed.

"Fuck you're so warm and soft!" Ojiro grabs your squishy hips as he pivots out of your weeping hole. You graon into the sheets as he leans over you. "You're creaming around me you know?" You bury your face in embarrassment as Ojiro intertwines his fingers with yours.

You feel the pit in your stomach grow tighter as you get closer to your orgasm. "I'm coming, fuck I'm cumming." You were so close but Ojiro stops in his tracks and holds you down.

"Why'd you stop?" You ask turning your head around to look back at your smirking boyfriend. He raises both hands and slams them down on your thighs as he yanks your back, halfway off the bed. Your legs dangle off the side as the rest of you stays and I'm all honesty this was an awkward position due to your long legs.

Oijiro's trail thumps behind you and you can hear it hitting various objects as it swishes around the room. "Why are you so excited?" You ask trying your best to hold on to the thin trails off your orgasm as your heart rate slowed. "I'm just thinking about if you really deserve to cum."

You throw your head up immediately and stomp your fists. "It's my birthday can't you do this some other time?!" Ojiro pushes your face into the bed, knocking the wind out of you as he sets a brutal pace. "See that attitude right there is what I'm talking about." He shakes his head as he pounds your ass repeatedly.

You're quickly bright closer to your orgasm as the lack of oxygen goes to your brain. When he does let you up, you are coming with a loud groan as he pulls out, ruining your orgasm.

"Ojiro what the hell!" You yell, still twitching from the shocks. Ojiro looks at you shrugging as he jerks himself to completion. "You said make you cum."

You groan stomping into the bathroom ignoring Oijiro's laughter from behind.

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voidstilesplease · 4 years ago

Text

By the Angel, TALK

Warning: THIS IS AN ANTI-CLARY AND JACE SPOILER RANT because I need an avenue to let out some of the steam I've been holding off since starting City of Fallen Angels. So PLEASE SKIP AHEAD because I don't want to burden you all with my reading woes.

This thing centers on the beginning of Chapter 9: From Fire Unto Fire and a little bit of Chapter 8. About eight pages of bad, bad romance set me off.

To start,

The rest is under the cut, so you can go away now.

So, what's been happening to Clary and Jace thus far?

This book introduced them now as an official couple, picking up from the end of TMI Book 3: City of Glass. I don't remember their every scene since then to the point in Chapter 9 where I stopped, but basically, they're having relationship issues early on. They're less than two months into their relationship, and the drama is too frickin much.

Jace has these weird dreams about murdering Clary and waking up guilty about his subconscious thoughts, so he goes angsting about it and avoiding her, snapping at her, being a total dick, and still question why people think they are on the brink of a break-up.

So, Jace goes with Simon in the next few scenes, in his plight to get away from her as far as possible, yet still be somehow close by being around Clary's best friend to "protect" him, so his distant behavior will be reasonable and forgivable. Yeah, make that make sense. 🙄 But of course, one way or another, they're going to have to get to the confrontation part (that I still wish had been equivalent to an actual break-up), and so that's when Chapter 8 & 9 enters.

Chapter 8: Walk in Darkness pp. 185-186

Almost instantly, the light went out of them, and the remaining color drained out of his face. "I thought --- Simon said you weren't coming." ¹

[...] "So you only came because you thought I wouldn't be here? [...] Were you ever planning on talking to me again? [...] If you're going to break it off, the least you could do is tell me, not just stop talking to me and leave me to figure it out on my own."

"Why does everyone keep goddamn asking me if I'm going to break up with you? [...]²

First, what an asshole?!

[1] So Jace finally in-your-face's Clary and confirms that he has been keeping his distance like Clary has the plague. He then has the audacity to [2] be annoyed for being questioned on his intentions of keeping the relationship that he has been actively evading for days!

I get that Jace sucks in romantic relationships and has been fucked up by his daddy-issues, but he has the Lightwoods. Heck, Alec is his parabatai. He sees working relationships, so he has to have known that you don't just stop talking to people close to you and have them not question the behavior, whether you're trying to pull away from them or not. Otherwise, then Jace is dumb for all that he's marketed as the "best" Shadowhunter in his age. Screw that.

---

“You talked to Simon about us?" Clary shook her head. "Why? Why aren't you talking to me?"

"Because I can't talk to you," Jace said. "I can't talk to you, I can't be with you, I can't even look at you."³

[3] Way to make a girl feel special, Jace. Oh, no, yeah. He's trying to do the opposite and push her away with some teenage boy angst that doesn't make any sense. Like, who says that, though, aside from dramatic love interests that can't make a better excuse for going emo?

That line IS TOO DRAMATIC that it hurts, ugh. 🤮

Anyway, so Clary walks out after that. I don't sympathize with her, but I'd do the same. Who wouldn't? Unless you freeze in the ridiculousness of the situation, that is, which is also likely.

Chapter 9: From Fire Unto Fire pp. 190-195

Now, here's the real shit. I want to quote this entire six-page scene back to Cassie and scream at her.

Clary reached the door and burst out into the rain-drenched evening air. [...] and was about to race across the street against the light when a hand caught her arm and spun her around.

It was Jace. [...] "Clary, didn't you hear me calling you?"

"Let go of me." Her voice shook.

"No. Not until you talk to me."⁴

[4] DUDE, what even happened to your I CAN'T TALK TO YOU, I CAN'T EVEN LOOK AT YOU speech, huh? Be consistent for once, apart from your douchebag routine. Make up your mind, Jace.

---

Still holding her by the arm, he half-dragged her around the van and into a narrow alley that bordered the Alto Bar. ⁵

[5] Man, I love a bit of rough loving in my literature, but I'm so pissed at you, Jace, don't even. Lay the hell off.

---

"I was going to tell you that I was trying to help out Simon. [...]

"And you couldn't tell me? Couldn't text me a single line letting me know where you were?"⁶ [...]

[...]

"I think," he said slowly, "that I thought that the closest thing to being with you was being with Simon. Watching out for him. I had some stupid idea that you'd realize I was doing it for you and forgive me---"⁷

[6] Addressing the lack of communication, that's a great path to follow. These two need to talk so bad. [7] But this line? Sucks Balls. You could be with her, Jacey, and save all the readers your drama if you only pull your head out of your ass and try to communicate. It's like you're allergic to it.

---

She took a step back, blindly, and nearly tripped over an abandoned speaker. Her bag slid to the ground as she put her hand out to right herself, but Jace was already there. He moved forward to catch her, and kept moving until her back hit the alley wall, and his arms were around her, and he was kissing her frantically.⁸

[8] Not only is this achingly cheesy, but it's also totally not the way they should be going off about their situation. They were already talking -arguing, yes, but they're still using words to reach out, and their relationship absolutely cannot be healthy without them. Thus far, they have spoken so less in comparison with the times they've spent canoodling. They're not solving anything by having drama on one second and getting it on with dramatic kissing on the next.

I don't care what Clary says about being so lost in love with Jace. He's treating her like shit. The least he can do is give her answers that she has the right to demand from him. Kissing is not an answer. But, well, maybe to Clary, it is because the next parts from page 192 to 194 are spent on softcore porn in a dark alley under the frickin rain. I bet that's a very romantic setting in their minds, huh.

---

And now this part:

It was nerve-wracking. She could feel the feverish heat that came off him; her hands were still on his shoulders, but it wasn't enough. She wanted him wrapped around her, holding her tight. "W-why," she breathed. "can't you talk to me? Why can't you look at me?"

He ducked his head down to look into her face. His eyes, surrounded by lashes darkened with rainwater, were impossibly gold.

"Because I love you."⁹

[9] Is that supposed to make me tingle? SET ME ON FIRE, but that is the lousiest I love you in books that I have ever read. AND IT'S THE ONLY ONE THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE, at all!

Shut up with this, can you please. It's not romantic at all. It's a dumb excuse and an even dumber love from the two dumbest people in this whole frickin series. Oh my god.

Clary, realistically, will frown at this answer. She will pull the hell away and spat him in the face with how demeaning his love is if it can make her sick to the stomach with thinking he has already gone bored and is only cooking the perfect way to cut off their connection. He hasn't given her a sound reason, only desperate declarations of love like he's trying to convince them both that it's true. And it doesn't make sense how she's still plastered around him in the cold, trying to convince the readers that every word from Jace has deeper meanings that she understands no matter how gibberish they are. I'm not buying that, okay? Stop selling your larger-than-life connection bullshit because that isn't real.

You've only been together for two months, okay? The strongest you can feel for each other is lust. And it's showing.

---

His hands slid down to her waist and he kissed her, long and lingering, making her shudder.

She pulled away, "That doesn't make any sense."

"Neither does this," he said, "but I don't care. I'm sick of trying to pretend I can live without you. Don't you understand that? Can't you see it's killing me?"¹⁰

She stared at him. She could see that he meant what he said [...] Her desire for answers battled the more primal part of her brain, and lost. "Kiss me then,"¹¹

[10] NOBODY THREATENED YOU UNDER BLADE TO DO THAT BULLSHIT, so shut the hell up with the whining. [11] and Clary, I am so disappointed. You've both just drained me, and I'm dry inside like a raisin.

The next paragraphs describe their very erotic kissing against the wall. Jace, propping her up and her legs around his waist bull crap. Seriously? Am I supposed to believe these two are, what sixteen?- up until Isabelle thankfully ruins their moment by kicking a garbage can that would look better with Jace and Clary in it tbh.

---

And the nastiest horseshit of all:

Clary looked at Jace. At any other time, they would have laughed together at Isabelle's moodiness, but there was no humor in his expression, and she knew immediately that whatever they had had between them ---whatever had blossomed out of his momentary lack of control--- it was gone now. [...]

"Jace---" she took a step toward him.

"Don't," he said, his voice very rough. "I can't."¹²

And then he was gone [...]

[12] No, I frickin CANNOT. His actions keep on contradicting his words, and he's fickle and can't decide which mood to settle, and it's so exhausting, honestly. He wasted a few pages for a cosmic, meaningless declaration of feelings. They're empty words. At this point, I believe the writing only strives to convince the readers that these characters care for each other but is shitty at showing it.

It's not love, because they say it is love.

---

I was already gaining hope for this book, and then one simple few-pages scene with clace squishes it, smearing the innards on my face.

Honestly, TALK OR TAKE A BREAK. This back and forth can't continue throughout the rest of the book or -heaven forbid- the rest of the series. Or at least, put these characters in the background if they really must drag on this problem, because I care not a lick.

Bye.

#📖: city of fallen angels #current read #anti clace #anti clary fray #anti jace wayland #city of fallen angels #mid-read rant #I'm just so triggered #books #bookish #bookblr #book quotes #book lines #shadowhunters #late to the party woes #cassandra clare #what are you doing with these characters #did you forget this wasn't a twilight fanfiction or something

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